Chuck Norris saw the Invisible Man.
Chuck Norris doesn't smoke cigars. He smokes smoke grenades.
Chuck Norris is cooler than the other side of the pillow.
Chuck Norris found the 51st shade of gray.
Chuck Norris leaves messages before the beep.
Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague. The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.
Chuck Norris doesn't beat around the bush, he beats up the bush.
Q: How many Chuck Norris\' does it take to screw in a lightbulb? \r\nA: None. Chuck Norris can see in the dark.
Chuck Norris paints little red wagons for a living with his victim's blood. But not the wheels. That's just wrong.
Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.