Joke #3075

A golfer was addressing his ball, getting ready to shoot. Just as he was about ready to hit, a voice came over the p.a. system - "Will the gentleman on the lady's tee please move back to the men's tee". He looked up, looked back down and then resumed addressing the ball again. The Voice again - "Will the Man on the Red tees PLEASE MOVE BACK to the White Tees?!" He looked back at the starters shack and yelled, "Will the IDIOT on the p.a. shut up so that the man on the lady's tee can hit his second shot"!

Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player? Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.

Everyone could tell our son was a Tigers fan. When he was handed his diploma, he dropped it.

Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? A: The big hand touches the little one.

Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.

What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world's greatest basketball player? Bear Jordan.

Q: Where is the first baseball game in the Bible? A: In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft. In today’s civilized society, it is called golf.

My yoga instructor says I need to work on my breathing. But I mean, 41 years, still alive. I kinda got it.

How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist? A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.

Egotistical Harry was always reminding people that he played semi-pro baseball. "I was the James Bond type of player," he told his friends. "I had all sorts of tricks to confuse the opposition." "Batted .007," his wife added.