Joke #14223

A man is staying in a hotel. He walks up to the front desk and says, "Sorry ma'am, I forgot what room I'm in, can you help me?" The receptionist replies, "No problem, sir. This is the lobby."
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has 78.85 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: holiday

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Jill: "How did you find the weather on your vacation?" Bill: "I just went outside and there it was!"
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: holiday, stupid, weather
Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary. Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!" Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island. An hour later Abe turns to his wife and asks, "Esther, did we pay our $5,000 PBS pledge check yet?" "No, sweetheart," she responds. Abe, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Esther, did we pay our American Express card yet?" "Oh, no! I’m sorry. I forgot to send the check," she says. "One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send checks for the Visa and MasterCard this month?" he asks. "Oh, forgive me, Abie," begged Esther. "I didn’t send that one, either." Abe grabs her and gives her the biggest kiss in 40 years. Esther pulls away and asks him, "What was that for?" Abe answers, "They’ll find us!"
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has 84.31 % from 266 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, holiday, money, travel
A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, "If it weren't for my money, we wouldn't be here at all!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, not only would we not be in Florida, we wouldn't on a honeymoon, nor would there be any "we" in the first place."
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: holiday, money, wife
I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
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has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: holiday, mean, office, technology, work
How do you know when you honeymoon is over? When he no longer smiles as he scrapes the burnt toast.
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has 66.82 % from 192 votes. More jokes about: holiday, marriage
What is the perfect Father's Day gift? Taking your Mom away on a vacation with you.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: family, Fathers day, holiday
Q: What's a terrorist's favorite day in November? A: Bomb fire night.
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has 66.88 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: holiday, terrorist, time
George went on a vacation to the Middle East with his family, including his mother-in-law. During their vacation in Jerusalem, George’s mother-in-law died. With the death certificate in his hand, George went to the American Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the body back to the United States for a proper burial. The Consul told George that to send the body back to the United States for burial is very, very expensive. It could cost him as much as $5,000.00. The Consul told him, in most cases the person responsible for the remains normally decides to bury the body here in Jerusalem. This would only cost him $150.00. George thinks for some time and answers, "I don’t care how much it will cost to send the body back, that’s what I want to do." The Consul says, "You must have loved your mother-in-law very much considering the difference in price." "No, it’s not that," says George. "You see, I know of a case many, many years ago of a man that was buried here in Jerusalem. On the third day he arose from the dead! I just can’t take that chance!"
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has 82.23 % from 234 votes. More jokes about: family, holiday, money, mother in law
July 4th is Independence day. And the day Chuck Norris was born. Coincidence? I think not.
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has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: birthday, Chuck Norris, holiday
Men are like.....Vacations. They never seem to be long enough.
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has 34.09 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: holiday, men