When Chuck Norris enters a sauna the sauna starts sweating.
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Chuck Norris will chuck you in the norris!
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Chuck Norris was banned from going to "housewarming" parties because he kept burning them down.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
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Chuck Norris can literally kill time.
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Chuck Norris once joined the Army.
That's how the motto, "An Army of One" was created.
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Chuck Norris can play the saxophone... while holding his breath.
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Chuck Norris gave Iceman frostbite.
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Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
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Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability.
Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.
The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.
They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
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Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris.
Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.
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