There is no backspace button on Chuck Norris' keyboard. Chuck Norris never makes mistakes.
Chuck Norris uses flatbed trailers as roller skates.
When Chuck Norris watches a horror movie, Chuck Norris dosen't scream, the movie does.
What you call a wrecking ball, Chuck Norris calls a punching bag.
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... with his breath.
Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
Death was created after Chuck Norris was born.
The second hardest element in the universe is Chuck Norris. The first only comes into existance when Chuck gets excited.
Chuck Norris doesn't travel at the speed of light, light travels at the speed of Chuck Norris!
Chuck Norris gave Black Ops a thumbs up and people at Microsoft a roundhouse kick in the face. Suck it Microsoft.