A company once tried to make Chuck Norris toilet paper, but they soon realized it wouldn't work because Chuck Norris won't take shit from anyone.
Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row. The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
A train saw Chuck Norris on the track and turned down a dirt road.
Chuck Norris got a homerun in bowling.
Chuck Norris reached level 51 on Oblivion.
Chuck Norris can unlock a hairpin with a door.
Chuck Norris doesn't compete, he wins.
The Question Mark was invented after scientists attempted to measure the speed of a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.
People have near-death experiences. Death has Near-Chuck-Norris experiences.