A company once tried to make Chuck Norris toilet paper, but they soon realized it wouldn't work because Chuck Norris won't take shit from anyone.
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Every morning Chuck Norris eats a bowl of nails for Breakfast... without milk.
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Sometimes when Chuck Norris stares at the stars too long they get scared.
These are known as black holes.
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When everyone else can't, Chuck Norris CAN.
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Chuck Norris does not listen to lectures.
Lectures listen to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
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T. S. Eliot measured out his life with coffee spoons.
Chuck Norris uses a backhoe.
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Chuck Norris can finish a Super Mario game with just one arrow key.
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Aliens do exist.
They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
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Chuck Norris can light the contents of the Windows recycle bin on fire.
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Who do you think would win in a fight? Godzilla or King Kong
Neither, Chuck Norris doesn't let his pets fight!
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