A company once tried to make Chuck Norris toilet paper, but they soon realized it wouldn't work because Chuck Norris won't take shit from anyone.
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Chuck Norris does not require food, drink, shelter, or sleep, only confirmed kills.
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Somebody said that Chuck sucks, since then their severed head with many foot marks have been found...
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Chuck Norris once went to practice his golf swing at a driving range... his golf balls are now known as stars!
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The results of a recent Harris Poll on "what's scarier" forced the Discovery channel to cancel Shark week in lieu of Chuck Norris week.
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Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face.
Nobody would survive anyway.
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Always be yourself, unless you can be Chuck Norris, then always be Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris discovered America.
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When Chuck Norris goes to the beach, he puts on sunscreen to protect the sun from him.
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Not even Houdini can escape from Chuck Norris.
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A watched pot boils instantly for Chuck Norris.
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