A company once tried to make Chuck Norris toilet paper, but they soon realized it wouldn't work because Chuck Norris won't take shit from anyone.
If Chuck Norris were president, he would protect the secret service.
One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart. The clerk told him to have a nice day. The next day the clerk was found dead. The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why. He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
When Chuck Norris got stung by a bee, the Bee had an allergic reaction called Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once won an underwater breathing contest with a fish.
If you took all the worlds Super Heroes and combined them, Chuck would still kill them instantly.
Chuck Norris can build a Water Dam... In the Sahara Desert.
Armageddon is defined as the day Chuck Norris gets bored with us.
Chuck Norris can answer a missed call.
A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards.