Q: What fragrance makes you laugh?
A: Essense of humor.
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Guy goes every day to the same diner, looks over the menu, and always orders the same thing: ham and eggs.
Every day, the same thing: ham and eggs.
Waitress decides to play a trick on him and scratches it from the menu.
He comes in, she says, "You know that thing you like so much? I scratched it."
"Well, wash off your hand and get me some ham and eggs."
On the Internet you can be anything you want.
It's so strange that many people choose to be stupid.
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.
A diner complained, "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!"
His waiter replied, "That's entirely possible; our cook used to be a tailor."
Q: Why are politicians like diapers?
A: Both should be changed regularly and for the same reason.
Chuck Norris narrates Morgan Freemans life
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George W. Bush went to see the doctor to get the results of his brain scan.
The doctor said: "Mr. President, I have some bad news for you. First, we have discovered that your brain has two sides: the left side and the right side."
Bush interrupted, "Well, that’s normal, isn’t it? I thought everybody had two sides to their brain?"
The doctor replied, "That’s true, Mr. President. But your brain is very unusual because on the left side there isn’t anything right, while on the right side there isn’t anything left."
If you make a list of 10 things Chuck Norris cannot do, he will appear at your house and perform them all.
Your life may be forfeit.
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Q: Why are farmers cooler than Hipsters?
A: Farmers can go a day without their Pitchfork