Q: What fragrance makes you laugh? A: Essense of humor.
Q: Why is marriage not a word? A: It's a lifelong incarceration!
A tourist was watching an Indigenous man sending smoke signals. Everything around him was primitive, except of a latest model fire extinguisher. "What's the fire extinguisher for?" the tourist wondered. "It's for erasing the misspellings!"
A patient comes to a doctor, who asks him: - Do you smoke? - No. - Do you drink? - No. - Do you eat fast food? - No. - Don't worry, I'll find something anyways...
Fast way to screw up someone's Knock Knock joke...? "It's open."
What is height of Secrecy? Offering blank visiting cards.
Our folk not only knows how to read between the lines but also how to leave a record between the eyes.
I like my girl to be Hannah on the streets but Miley in the sheets.
About 4,000 years ago: God: "I shall create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die!" Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note* God: "Correction, I shall create a great flood!"
Two skeletons meet, and one asks the other, "Did you die before the Social Security reform, or after?" "No, I'm still alive."
Girls are always taking your hoodies but you take one of their dresses and suddenly they're all like "we need to talk."