TV commercials now show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.
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Is it true that 5 minutes of laugh prolongs your life by 5 minutes?
It depends who you are laughing at – it may as well shorten it...
What is height of Activelaziness?
Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.
What do mopeds and fat ladies have in common?
They're both a great ride until someone sees you on one.
How many Wall Street protesters does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they can't change a thing.
Vote:
Q: Why is life like a penis?
A: Women make it hard!
Q: Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?
A: Cause it got stuck in a crack.
There were 11 people – ten men and one woman – hanging onto a rope that came down from a helicopter.
They all decided that one person should get off, because if they didn’t, the rope would break and everyone would die.
No one could decide who should go, so finally, the woman gave a really touching speech saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving up things for their husbands and children, giving in to men, and not receiving anything in return.
When she finished speaking, all the men started clapping.
You WILL be a winner today.
Pick a fight with a four-year-old.
I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries."
The girl at the counter said, "Would you like some fries with that?"