Joke #11509

Knock Knock. Who's there? Opportunity. Don't be silly - opportunity doesn't knock twice!
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has 62.90 % from 159 votes. More jokes about: knock-knock, life

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Fast way to screw up someone's Knock Knock joke...? "It's open."
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Knock knock. Who's there? Déja. Déja who? Knock knock.
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Knock, knock! Who's there? Opportunity! That is impossible. Opportunity doesn't come knocking twice!
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One night, there was a knock on my door... i open it and no one was there every night I would get the same knock and still no one was there... Untill the morning I was just making myself some tea as a person knocks on my door it was a black man he walk in and stole my tea .... i said to myself did he just mug me .... I still didn't know who was knocking on the doors at night Untill one night I opened my door and there was a floating mug I was still confused.
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has 32.98 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: knock-knock, life
Q: Why can't you tell blondes knock-knock jokes? A: Because they leave to go answer the door.
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has 17.36 % from 539 votes. More jokes about: blonde, knock-knock
"Have you heard my knock-knock joke?" asked the blonde. "No," said the brunette. "Okay," said the blonde, "you start."
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has 31.54 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: blonde, knock-knock, stupid
Knock Knock. Who's there! Ice cream! Ice cream who? Ice cream if you don't let me in!
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A government employee sat in his office, and out of boredom, decided to see what was inside his old filing cabinet. He poked through the contents and came across an old brass lamp. "This will look good on my mantel," he said, and took it home with him. While polishing the lamp, a genie appeared and, as usual, granted him three wishes. "I would like an ice-cold Coke right now." He gets his Coke and drinks it. Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish. "I wish to be on an island with beautiful women, who find me irresistible." Suddenly, he's on an island with gorgeous women eyeing him lustfully. He tells the genie his third and last wish. "I wish I'd never have to work again." Instantly, he was back in his government office.
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has 76.80 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: beauty, life, political, women, work
This man goes to confession and says, "Forgive me father for I have sinned." The priest asks if he would like to confess his sins and the man replies that he used the "F-word" over the weekend. The priest says, "Oh okay, just say three Hail Marys and try to watch your language." The man replies that he would like to confess as to why he said the "F-word". The priest sighs and tells him to continue. Well father I played golf on Sunday with my buddies instead of going to church. The priest says, "And you got upset over that and swore?" The man replied, "No, that wasn't why I swore. On the first tee I duck-hooked my drive well left into the trees." The priest said, "And that's when you swore." The man replied, a little testily because of the constant interruptions, "No, it wasn't. When I walked up the fairway, I noticed my ball got a lucky bounce and I had a clear shot to the green. However, before I could hit the ball, a squirrel ran by and grabbed my ball and scurried up a tree." The priest asked, "Is that when you said the 'F-word'?" The man replied, "No, because an eagle then flew by and caught the squirrel in its sharp talons and flew away." The priest let out a breath and queried, "Is that when you swore?" The man replied, "No, because the eagle flew over the green and the dying squirrel let go of my golf ball and it landed within 5 inches of the hole." The priest screamed, "Don't tell me you missed the f...ing putt!"
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has 75.77 % from 257 votes. More jokes about: church, fart, golf, life, priest
Chuck Norris once cried just to see what it was like. The end result was the creation of life.
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has 42.09 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life