Joke #11509

Knock Knock. Who's there? Opportunity. Don't be silly - opportunity doesn't knock twice!

Fast way to screw up someone's Knock Knock joke...? "It's open."

Knock knock. Who's there? Déja. Déja who? Knock knock.

Knock, knock! Who's there? Opportunity! That is impossible. Opportunity doesn't come knocking twice!

One night, there was a knock on my door... i open it and no one was there every night I would get the same knock and still no one was there... Untill the morning I was just making myself some tea as a person knocks on my door it was a black man he walk in and stole my tea .... i said to myself did he just mug me .... I still didn't know who was knocking on the doors at night Untill one night I opened my door and there was a floating mug I was still confused.

A government employee sat in his office, and out of boredom, decided to see what was inside his old filing cabinet. He poked through the contents and came across an old brass lamp. "This will look good on my mantel," he said, and took it home with him. While polishing the lamp, a genie appeared and, as usual, granted him three wishes. "I would like an ice-cold Coke right now." He gets his Coke and drinks it. Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish. "I wish to be on an island with beautiful women, who find me irresistible." Suddenly, he's on an island with gorgeous women eyeing him lustfully. He tells the genie his third and last wish. "I wish I'd never have to work again." Instantly, he was back in his government office.

Q: Why is Santa always so jolly? A: He knows where all the naughty girls live.

Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock knock joke? He won the "no-bell" prize!

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. “Well,” said the Director, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.” “Oh, I understand,” said the visitor. “A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup. “No.” said the Director, “A normal person would pull the plug.” "Do you want a room with or without a view?"

Knock, Knock! Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? That's a great TV show, isn't it?

Knock knock. Who's there? Cash. Cash who? Yes! I've always known you were a bit nutty!