Joke #10388

Chuck Norris walked into the gold and silver pawn shop in Las Vegas. They made a deal. Chuck now owns the shop.

Chuck Norris once sued a Law and Order Company because those are the trademark item names of his right and left legs.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man". Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man". Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".

Not the people who posted this sign at a bookstore that was going out of business: "Sorry, no public restroom. Try amazon.com."

Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunscreen, the sun wears Chuck Norris-screen.

Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."

A patient that was waiting for a heart transplant has the chance to choose tree alternatives: 1. One heart is from a young athlete that died from a car accident. 2. Second is the heart of a business man that never smoked or drunk that died from an airplane accident. 3. The last one is a lawyers heart that died after 30 years of experience. I'll take the lawyers heart. After the transplant, the doctor asks the patient: "Why did you choose the lawyers heart?" "Simple! I chose the heart that was less used..."

Chuck Norris can surf on lava.

A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost on Halloween. The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot. The happy photographer later downloads his photos and finds that the photos are underexposed and completely blank. Moral of the story: The spirit is willing, but the flash is weak.