Chuck Norris' feminine side is manlier than the manliest man's manly side.
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Bill Gates lives in fear Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
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Chuck Norris can travel a negative distance.
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Bigfoot thinks Chuck Norris is a myth
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Wanna know how Chuck Norris grew his beard?
He didn't, his beard grew him.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a particle accelerator to collide atoms, he just smashes his fists together.
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Chuck Norris can win a game of scrabble using only numbers.
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Chuck Norris paints little red wagons for a living with his victim's blood.
But not the wheels.
That's just wrong.
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When Chuck Norris bakes cookies for his enemies, he adds his own secret ingredient to make a special taste to it. Its called "defeat".
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At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.
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Chuck Norris can drive a car without gas... or an engine.
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