Joke #13600

Chuck Norris doesn't run for President; the President runs for Vice God Chuck Norris.
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has 32.30 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, political, work

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When the President pushes the big red button, Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.
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has 83.71 % from 1034 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone, political
Hillary Clinton isn't taking the loss very well. So I said to her, Cheer up! At least you won't have to work at the same desk that Monica spent so much time under.
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A government employee sat in his office, and out of boredom, decided to see what was inside his old filing cabinet. He poked through the contents and came across an old brass lamp. "This will look good on my mantel," he said, and took it home with him. While polishing the lamp, a genie appeared and, as usual, granted him three wishes. "I would like an ice-cold Coke right now." He gets his Coke and drinks it. Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish. "I wish to be on an island with beautiful women, who find me irresistible." Suddenly, he's on an island with gorgeous women eyeing him lustfully. He tells the genie his third and last wish. "I wish I'd never have to work again." Instantly, he was back in his government office.
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has 76.80 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: beauty, life, political, women, work
The vice-president of a local company had quite a problem. He was told by his boss to lay off one of his employees, either Mary or Jack. His choice was a tough one because Mary had been a devoted employee for 10 years and Jack was a fine worker who had a family to support. At night, the VP tossed and turned in his sleep trying to decide which of his employees he would lay off. Finally he decided, the first one to come to work tomorrow would be the one. Morning finally comes and the VP waits at the office for one of the two employees to arrive. At 8:55 Mary walks into the office. "I've got a difficult decision" the VP says, "I either have to Lay You or Jack off." "Oh? jack-off," Mary says, "I've got a headache."
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has 76.77 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: family, political, time, women, work
If Chuck Norris were president, he would protect the secret service.
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has 70.24 % from 137 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, political
Q: How do you keep a Republican busy for a week? A: Turn on the spell checker.
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has 63.35 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: insulting, political, republican, stupid, work
Chuck Norris was asked if he would be running for President, after a chuckle, he stated, nothing makes him run.
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has 57.23 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, political
Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.
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has 53.57 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, work
Obama and his generals in the Pentagon discussed, and they could not agree on, what is the best time for the assault on Russia. Finally, they decide to ask the French: "When is it best to invade Russia?" The French answered: "We do not know, but certainly not in the winter, it would go wrong for sure." Therefore, it would probably be better to ask the Germans: "When is it best to invade Russia?" The Germans answer: "We do not know, but it certainly would not be in the summer. We have tried, already..." What to do? Someone proposes to ask China that is progressive and always comes up with a new idea. So they asked the Chinese, "When is the best time to invade Russia?" The Chinese replies: "Right now!" Russia began to build "The Strength of Siberia" pipeline, "Turkish stream", The Spaceport "Vostochny", The Bridge to the Crimea, and in the near future they will modernize the BAM, they are building new sports complexes for the World Cup in football and athletics, they are planning oil extraction in the Arctic... Right now they do need a lot of POW as work force.
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has 52.50 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, political, war, winter, work
Chuck Norris grabs Donald Trump by the pussy.
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has 51.70 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, political