Joke #13677

I'd tell you that I'm a nihilist but what is the point.

One day a family is wondering what to cook for dinner. They have many ideas but each idea doesn't sound good. Eventually, they go to the living room to watch tv when all of a sudden a knock at the door. The mother answers it and it's a nun saying she's going door to door giving out soup to families. She takes the bag of soup and thanks to the nun. They all go to the kitchen and grab a bowl and then pour the soup into bowls. The father says "this soup stinks!" The mother says "honey a nun brought it to us be grateful." The father then tastes it and says "ew it tastes like shit" and the mother say s "honey just keep eating." After they finish they go to the living room and the news is on. The reporter says "the man dressed as a nun delivering raw sewage door to door has been caught" they all puked.

Q: How big are the pastro's beds? A: Oh c'mon, it knows every little kid.

Question: What do you get if you cross an atheist with a Jehovah's witness? Answer: Someone who knocks on your door for no reason at all.

A priest took a beautiful girl in his bedroom. He put a Bible on the bed and asked the girl to lie on the bed. When the priest tried to have sex with her, the girl shouted: "Father, what are you doing?" The priest replied "Calm down my child. Holy Bible under you, Holy Father above you and Holy water passing through."

Q: What do you get if you cross a nun and a chicken? A: A pecking order.

The November 5th Gunpowder Plot has been described as the 9/11 of its day. Staged by the government to discredit an entire religion.

Did you hear about the aristocratic horse? He was the last of his race!

A priest asks Johnny if he's scared of Satan. Little Johnny says "I have nothing to be scared of you are the one that must be scared; you talk crap about him every Sunday..."

Joey and Katie are sitting in school. Katie is sleeping and the teacher asks her a question. "Katie, who created Heaven and Earth?" Joey sees Katie sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil. "Jesus Christ almighty! !" Exclaimed Katie. "Correct." Says the teacher. So the next day the same incident occurs and the same question comes up "Who created Heaven and Earth?" Katie (Again sleeping) is poked by Joey's pencil "Jesus Christ almighty!" she exclaims. "Correct again." Says the teacher. So the next day, for a 3rd time, The teacher asks Katie "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?" Katie (again sleeping) is poked by Joey's pencil again, and screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I am going to crack it in half!"

A girl started noticing a guy who stands in front of her home everyday in the evening. She noticed the guy always comes mostly in the evenings and weekends. The guy never tried to talk to her nor showed any gesture, he just moves here and there by looking into his mobile phone and occasionally stealing a stare at her. It went on like that for a year and the girl understood the guy was in love with her but was too shy to express his feelings. So, she told her parents. They too saw him and liked him. They discussed with her grandparents about a likely marriage. But wanted her to make the first move. The next day, she went to him and said, Hi. I'm Jada. He said, Hi. I'm Smith. Hearing this, the girl was very happy as the names were matching like Will Smith and Jada Pinkett. The girl went on and said, I really appreciate your patience and decency. You have been standing in front of my home everyday for about a year now. So, I understand that you are in love with me but too shy to say it. I think i really like you too and would love it if we get married. The guy smiled and said, Forgive me sister! Actually your home's WIFI doesn't have a password. So, i come here every evening after work to use free wi-fi to chat with my girlfriend.