How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
With a blender!
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If you're scared of dying alone then become a bus driver.
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Q: What did one casket say to the sick casket?
A: Is that you coughin'?
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A man with no legs is lying on the beach, when three attractive blondes approach him. The first blonde says to him "I bet you've never been hugged before."
The legless man shakes his head.
Then the second blonde says, "I bet you've never been kissed before."
The legless man shakes his head again.
Then the third blonde says, "I bet you've never been fucked before."
The legless man says, "No."
The third blonde replies, "Well you are now because the tide is coming in!"
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I saw a man with one arm shopping in a second hand store.
I thought "You are never going to find here what you are looking for"...
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A Mexican and a nigga are riding in car.
Who's driving?
A cop!
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A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken.
The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, "Nothing special really... We just tell them they're going to die..."
Why did the little girl fall off of her bike?
Because she didn't have any arms.
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What happened when the cannibal got a religion?
He only ate Catholics on Fridays!
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How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.
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Q: Whats worse then a barrel of dead babies?
A: There is one at the bottom that is still alive.
Q: Whats worse then that?
A: He has to eat his way out.
Q: Whats worse then that?
A: He goes back for more.
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