How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
With a blender!
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How did the dentist become a brain surgeon?
His hand slipped.
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What's the good part of there being no blacks on the Jetsons?
It means the future will be great!
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Q: How do you get a black out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.
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Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
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Q: Why does Luke Skywalker always ask for favors?
A: Because he needs someone to lend a hand.
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Death is God’s way of saying, ‘Hey, you’re not alive any more.’
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They say the surest way to a man's heart is through the stomach.
But personally, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
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Q. What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common?
A. They both live off dead Beatles.
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Q: What is brown, small, and smells of caramel?
A: A diabetic who's been struck by lightning.
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Woman delivers baby.
Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc.
Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?"
Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead".