What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet? After you use a toilet it doesn't follow you around for three days.
Q: Why there are many bubbles on the pool's water? A: Swimmers are farting.
What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? A salad shooter.
Q: Whats the height of desperation? A: A vampire sucking blood from a sanitary napkin.
Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist? A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from
Q: How do you know a gay guy has farted? A: He needs to change his pants afterward.
There was this guy who was sick,so he went to the doctor. The doc ran some tests and sent him home with some medicine. The next day the doctor called and the wife answered. "I'm going to need to run a few more tests", the doctor said. "I'm going to need a semen, urine and a fecal sample". After she hung up the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?" "He needs a pair of your underwear".
Little Johnny: "I've piss may I go out?" Teacher : "Piss is an impolite word instead you say I've number 1." Jimmy: "May I go out? I want to shit." Teacher: "Shit is also a bad word it is better to use number 2 instead." Ronald: "There is a wind in my belly give me please a number for it."
Three robbers break into a bank, but when they open the safe, they find only boxes. One robber opens a box and finds cups full of yogurt. "We didn't find any money, but we got something to eat," he tells his partners. They eat their fill and leave. The next morning's newspaper headline reads, "World's Largest Sperm Bank Robbed."
What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? You can't fuck a table.
How many dead babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil? It depends on how hard you squeeze them.