Joke #1379

What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet? After you use a toilet it doesn't follow you around for three days.
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has 63.26 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: disgusting

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Did you hear what the blonde who was opening a new bar said when her lawyer explained to her that she needed a liquor license?  "Oh, it's not gonna be THAT kind of a bar. That's disgusting!"
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has 65.91 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: bar, blonde, disgusting, lawyer
A guy gets out of the V.D. Hospital and decides to a hire a hooker, since he's been without for so long. Before long, he brings one home, and they have sex four times. After it's over, he turns to her and tells her he hasn't had sex in four months because of being in the V.D. Hospital. "How's the food there?" asks the hooker. "Because I'm going in there tomorrow!"
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has 60.65 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, hospital, sex
Q: Why are men like diapers? A: They are always on your ass and full of sh*t, and thankfully, they're disposable.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: What is the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer? A: The taste
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has 65.22 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, health
Q: What does a Polish bride get on her wedding night that's long and hard? A: A new last name.
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has 72.91 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, ethnic, wedding
Your fart's so loud, astronauts in space mistook your fart for a message from Houston!
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has 34.13 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart
A pretty lady is standing on the side of a bridge, looking over it and thinking about jumping off. A homeless alcoholic man comes up to her as he was walking nearby. The lady notices the man coming and says: "Go away! There's nothing you can say to me to change my mind, you cannot help me." "Well, if you're going to kill yourself anyway, why don't we have sex? At least I'll enjoy it" replies the man. "No way, you're disgusting, go away." The homeless man turns and starts walking away. The lady thinks: "Is that all you were going to say to me? Nothing more? Won't you try to convince me that life is worth living that I should not jump off? Where are you going?" The homeless man thinks: "I have to make it down to the bottom. If I hurry, you'll still be warm."
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has 78.15 % from 336 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, black humor, disgusting, life, sex
Two statues, male and female, faced each other in the city park for many years. An angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire." The statues came to life and smiled at each other. They ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling and twigs snapping. After 15 minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling. Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have 15 minutes. Would you like to continue?" The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?" Giggling, the female statue said, "Sure, but this time, you hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on its head!"
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has 80.60 % from 161 votes. More jokes about: animal, couple, disgusting, life, time
Say, "Do I smell popcorn?" right after you fart. So everybody takes a big whiff.
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has 61.59 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Why did God give women legs? So they don't leave a trail like a slug.
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: disgusting