Joke #1379

What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet? After you use a toilet it doesn't follow you around for three days.
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has 62.37 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: disgusting

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What's grosser than gross? Ten babies in one mail box. What's grosser than that? One baby in ten mailboxes. What's grosser than that? Biting into a pickle and finding a vein. What's grosser than that? A cheerleader doing a split and sticking to the floor. What's grosser than that? A girl thinking she has crabs only to find it's fruit flies because her cherry rotted.
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? You can't fuck a table.
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has 39.25 % from 139 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, dirty, disgusting, sex
A man farts in bed next to his wife. His wife asks, "What in the world was that?" He replies, "Touchdown. I'm winning, seven nothing." She decides to get even, so she lets one loose. He yells at her, "What was that?" She replies, "Touchdown, tie score." He wants to get her back, but he tries so hard he sh*ts in bed. The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?" He replies, "Halftime, switch sides."
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has 74.83 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, sport, wife
A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for a while, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it. Once he was in the doctor's office, the man followed instructions, undressed, and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he looked up the man's arse was that eye staring right back at him. "You know, " said the doctor, "you really have to learn to trust me."
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has 79.72 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob. On the wall? Art. On the floor? Matt.
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has 34.09 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
While grocery shopping, a single man comes across toilet brushes. "Wow! What a great idea," he thinks to himself and buys three of them. Two weeks later, however, he goes back to using toilet paper.
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has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
One night my mother in law came to our home. In the middle of the night suddenly I was awakened by a horrible sound from WC. She farted. I was so angry that shouted and said: "Your food is under your feet and your weapons are complete get out and go to fight with ISIS!"
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has 69.69 % from 438 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, mother in law, terrorist, war
A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath. The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?" "That's my little red sports car," said the little boy. The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?" "That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl. A few seconds later the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?" "Sure," said the little boy. The little boy's mother was down stairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said. "Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."
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has 63.12 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Barnum & Bailey was transferring the circus from one town to another. The elephants were connected trunk to tail. They came along a railroad crossing and as the elephants were halfway across the tracks, a train came along and killed two of them. Shortly thereafter, B&M Railroad received an invoice from Barnum and Bailey for $10,000. B&M immediately called Barnum & Bailey and requested an explanation for the charge, writing, "What is the cost of a new elephant?" Barnum & Bailey responded, "$1,000 each." B&M responded, "But, we only killed two of them!" Barnum & Bailey said, "Yes, but you pulled the assholes out of eight others."
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has 69.55 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, elephant, money
At a rally John McCain was asked if he wore boxers or briefs. He replied, "Depends."
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: disgusting