Joke #1379

What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet? After you use a toilet it doesn't follow you around for three days.
Vote: has 63.30 % from 76 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

One day a miserable toothbrush sits down and says, "Sometimes I feel I have the worst job in the world." Then the toilet paper yells, "Think again buddy!"
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, work
A newlywed couple arrives in their sumptuous honeymoon suite, and it turns out they are both virgins. Brought up the old traditional way, neither of them really knows how to have sex. So after about half a painful hour of abortive attempts to get it on, an idea occurs to the husband. "OK, honey," he says, "this is what we'll do. I'll go into the closet and you go into the bathroom. We'll both get undressed and turn off the lights in the bedroom. And then on the count of three we'll both rush out at each other and then it will just happen in the middle of the bedroom." The wife is a bit unsure about this, but since she doesn't have any better ideas she agrees. So, the husband goes into the closet and the wife goes into the bathroom and they both get undressed. The anticipation is driving the husband mad and as he takes off his clothes he gets an enormous erection. The wife turns off the lights and on the count of three they both rush into the bedroom towards each other. But since the room is dark the husband gets disoriented and runs by his wife — right into the dresser. He hits the dresser so hard that he passes out from the pain. The next thing he remembers is coming to in a hosital bed, with a doctor looking down at him. His throbbing dick is still so painful that he moans to the doctor, "Doc, doc, how bad is it?" "That's nothing, son. Wait till you see your wife! We still haven't gotten her off the doorknob."
Vote: has 68.66 % from 45 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: couple, disgusting, doctor, holiday, husband
This is a visual joke. Blow some cigarette smoke into a shoe, what do you have? A palestinian waiting for the bus.
Vote: has 17.80 % from 53 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting
Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law." The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then."
Vote: has 66.60 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, food, mother in law
A guy walks into a store. He goes up to the clerk and holds up his hand. In his hand he's holding a big pile of crap. He looks at the clerk with the biggest expression of relief and says, "Whew, that was close. Look what I almost stepped in."
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting
Q: What does it look like when you microwave a baby? A: I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
Vote: has 43.90 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting
Q: Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the Enterprise? A: To boldly go where no man has gone before.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, disgusting
Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, "A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?" The other monster replied, "Be a gentleman and roll them back to her."
Vote: has 74.05 % from 60 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, flirt, Halloween, party
How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off of it’s head.
Vote: has 36.94 % from 120 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, disgusting, morbid
There was a horny young lady named Lil, Who fucked dynamite sticks for a thrill. They found her vagina In North Carolina And bits of her tits in Brazil!
Vote: has 66.38 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting