Joke #8260

What's grosser than gross? Two Siamese twins connected at the tongue. What's even grosser than that? When one of them throws up.

What's red and sits in a corner? A baby playing with a razor blade.

Malcolm: Miss Wilson can I go to the loo? Miss Wilson: In two minutes Malcolm. Do your alphabet first. Malcolm: Ok Miss Wilson. abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz. Miss Wilson: Very good, Malcolm, but where's the p? Malcolm: Miss, it's running down my leg!

What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass.

How do you know you're at a bulimic bachelor party? When the cake jumps out of the girl!

Q: What's the difference between apple pie and pussy? A: You can eat Granmas apple pie.

How can you tell if a porno was made in the 70's? The guys' schlongs have sideburns!

Q: What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.

A guy says, "Doc, you gotta help me. Every time I fart, it sounds like, "Honda." The doctor says, "You say, 'Honda?'" "No," the guy says. "My farts do." So, the doctor says, "OK, open your mouth," and looks inside. After about two minutes, the doctor says, "I'm sorry, I can't help you, you need to go see a dentist." The guy says, "Why a dentist?" The doctor says, "Because you have an absessed tooth." The guy says, "What the hell does that have to do with my condition?" The doctor says, "Well, didn't you know? Absess makes the farts go Honda!"

There were two church-going women gossiping in front of the store when a dusty old cowboy rode up. He tied up in front of the saloon, walked around behind his horse, lifted its tail and kissed the horse full on its rectum. Repulsed, one of the women asked, "That's disgusting, why did you do THAT?" To which the cowboy replied, "I've got chapped lips." Confused, the women continued, "Does that make them feel better?" "No, but it stops me from licking them!"

What did Obi Wan say when Luke was constipated? "Use the F-O-R-C-E Luke!"