Joke #1409

Worst way to ask for anal: "Aww come on...I bet my dick is tiny compared to some of the shits you've taken!"
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Valentines Day is the day that the "V" and "D" come together.
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Why don’t women blink during foreplay? They don’t have time.
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A man came up with a new invention, a vibrating tampon. That way a woman can be at her best when she is at her worst.
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As she lay there dozing next to me a voice inside my head kept saying, "Relax, you are not the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients." But another voice kept saying, "Howard, you are a veterinarian."
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Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex: - You can GET chocolate. - Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft. - You can safely have chocolate while you are driving. - You can have chocolate in in public. - If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind. - The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate. - You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate. - No need to fake your enjoyment of chocolate. - Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant. - You can have chocolate at any time of the month. - You are never too young or too old for chocolate. - Size doesn't matter - though more is still better.
Vote: has 72.41 % from 132 votes. Send joke:

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Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.
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When the first legal brothel opened here in Brissy I got the OK from the missus to check it out and have myself a good time. I was in there like a flash and as I was the only client at that time I has my choice of the buffet on offer. I chose a gorgeous tall slim redhead but before moving off to the rooms she stated that she wont work with anyone unless they are 10 inches. Being a little embarrassed as you would be I asked her politely to sit back down. I mean after all, no matter how hot they were I wasn't about to cut 2 inches of my manhood for anyone...
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What are the small bumps around women’s nipples? It’s Braille for ‘suck here’.
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What's a man's definition of a romantic evening? Sex.
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Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you? A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
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