Worst way to ask for anal:
"Aww come on...I bet my dick is tiny compared to some of the shits you've taken!"
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Q: What is a difference between Ooooh and Aaaah?
A: Only 3 inches.
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Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.
A punk rocker gets on the bus with green, yellow, purple and orange hair.
An old guy sitting on the bus stares at him, and the punk says, "What's the matter, old man, didn't you ever do anything wild in your life?"
And the old man says, "Yeah, one time I fucked a parrot. I thought maybe you were my kid."
What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? The man.
When Viagra first came out my wife and I decided to give it a go to see what all the fuss was about.
I popped the pill and waited the 15 minutes and then it was on for young and old.
We timed the performance to the minute and it all finally subsided at 3 hours and 17 minutes.
I asked the missus what she thought and she simply stated that she couldn't understand what all the hype was about for an extra 17 minutes...
Have you heard about the new "Mint flavored birth control pill" for women that they take immediately before sex?
They're called "Predickamints".
What is the difference between a joystick and a man's d**k?
A joystick does its job.
My girlfriend asked me for the 7th time in a row for me to smash raw...
She must think I'm made of coat hangers.
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A woman is divorcing her husband on the grounds of cruelty.
His organ is so large it hurts her to have sex.
After she has explained her problem to a lawyer, he tells her that he’ll file her petition.
‘Stuff that!’ says the woman.
‘Why can’t you go round and sandpaper his down a bit.’