The Grinch stole Christmas until Chuck Norris ordered him to return it.
This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad. He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.
Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
The Grinch didn't really steal Christmas. He just hired Chuck Norris.
One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner". And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"
Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion? Answer - neither, Chuck Norris would beat them both with a single round-house-kick.
How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas? Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.
To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I'm turning my house into an Italian restaurant.