Joke #14195

What did one Christmas tree say to the other? You've got a lot of balls walking in here dressed like that.

Yo momma is so old that her first Christmas was the first Christmas.

Rudolph the well hung reindeer, Had a great enormous cock, All he could ever do with it, was beat it off inside a sock, All of the female reindeer, Had pussies that were just too small, Poor old well hung Rudolph, Could not get any sex at all, Then one horny Christmas eve, Santa came to say, "Rudolph with your cock so strong... Fuck my arsehole all night long!" Then all the reindeer loved him, A few of them were heard to say, "Rudolph the well hung reindeer... You're so lucky Santa's gay"

The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.

The holiday season: A deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.

Chicken to turkey: "Only Thanksgiving and Christmas? You're lucky, with us it's any Sunday."

Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing. "Sis," he said, "I wish you'd sing Christmas carols." "Thats nice of you, Alfie," she replied, "but why?" Alfie replied, "Because then I'd only have to hear your voice once a year!"

Your mamma so old that her first Christmas was the first Christmas when Jusse said his first words you a hoe.

Yo mama is so fat that it's still printing her picture she took during her last Christmas.

At Christmas time, there's nothing I love more than sitting in front of a warm fire, mulled wine in hand, and singing Christmas songs until I slowly fall asleep. Maybe that's why I'm no longer a fireman.

This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh. The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you want two tattoos there?" So she says "Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years."