What did one Christmas tree say to the other?
You've got a lot of balls walking in here dressed like that.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Q: Why do Mexicans have tamales for Christmas?
A: So they'll have something to unwrap.
You know you're getting old when Santa starts looking younger.
The holiday season: A deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
While I was working as a store Santa, a boy asked me for an electric train set.
"If you get your train," I told him, "your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that all right?"
The boy became very quiet.
So, moving the conversation along, I asked, "What else would you like Santa to bring you?"
He promptly replied, "Another train."
Vote:
One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner".
And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"
At Christmas time, there's nothing I love more than sitting in front of a warm fire, mulled wine in hand, and singing Christmas songs until I slowly fall asleep.
Maybe that's why I'm no longer a fireman.
Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.
Vote:
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house everyone felt shitty even the mouse.
Mom at the whorehouse and dad smoking grass, I settled down for a nice piece of ass.
When all of a sudden I heard such a clatter, I sprung from my place to see what was the matter.
When out on the lawn I saw a big dick, I new in a moment it must be Saint Nick.
He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, I knew in a moment the f*cker had fell.
He filled all of our stockings with pretzels and beer and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer.
He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart, the son of a b*tch tore the chimney apart.
He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight, "piss on you all and have a hell of a night."
The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven't seen for 20 minutes.
The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
Vote: