What did one Christmas tree say to the other?
You've got a lot of balls walking in here dressed like that.
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An Avon Lady was delivering products in a high-rise and was riding in the elevator.
Suddenly, she had the powerful urge to fart.
Since no one was in the elevator, she let it go - and it was a doozy.
Of course, the elevator then stopped at the next floor, so she quickly used some Avon Pine-Scented Spray to cover up the smell.
A man entered the elevator and immediately made a face.
"Holy cow! What's that smell?"
"I don't know, sir. I don't smell anything. What does it smell like to you?"
"Like someone crapped a Christmas tree."
What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas ?
Cancer.
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Your mamma so old that her first Christmas was the first Christmas when Jusse said his first words you a hoe.
A school bus driver stopped the vehicle to take little George out.
The kid opened the door and saw his grandmother reaching her hands to grab him.
The driver though, to make sure that that person is really a family member, asks the kid.
"Is this really your grandmother?"
"Yes. She visits every Christmas!"
"Very good! And when she stays at he rest of the year?" the driver insists.
"At the airport!," says the kid and continues, "Whenever we feel like, we go there and we take her home..."
Yo mama so stupid someone said Christmas was around the corner and she went looking for it.
The Grinch stole Christmas until Chuck Norris ordered him to return it.
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How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas?
Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.
What did the black kid get for Christmas?
YOUR BIKE!
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Q: What do cannibal tax advisors do after their office Christmas Dinner?
A: Toast their clients.
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