What did one Christmas tree say to the other?
You've got a lot of balls walking in here dressed like that.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get?
A: Mistle-toes!
Rudolph the well hung reindeer,
Had a great enormous cock,
All he could ever do with it, was beat it off inside a sock,
All of the female reindeer, Had pussies that were just too small,
Poor old well hung Rudolph, Could not get any sex at all,
Then one horny Christmas eve, Santa came to say, "Rudolph with your cock so strong...
Fuck my arsehole all night long!"
Then all the reindeer loved him, A few of them were heard to say,
"Rudolph the well hung reindeer... You're so lucky Santa's gay"
Q: What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common?
A: They both have balls just for decoration.
Q: What did the little black kid get for Christmas?
A: My bike.
Vote:
To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I'm turning my house into an Italian restaurant.
Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape... to play Santa Claus.
Chicken to turkey: "Only Thanksgiving and Christmas? You're lucky, with us it's any Sunday."
How are Justin Bieber and a Christmas tree similar?
Both their balls are decoration only.
James and Neil were fortunate enough to have a season ticket to watch Manchester United.
They could not help noticing that there was always a spare seat next (A16) to them and they had a friend who would love to buy a season ticket, especially if all three could have seats together.
One half-time Neil went to the ticket office and asked if they could buy the season ticket for A16.
The official said that unfortunately the ticket had been sold. Nevertheless, week after week the seat was still empty.
Then on Boxing day, much to James and Neil's amazement the seat was taken for the first time that season.
Neil could not resist asking the newcomer, 'Where have you been all season'.
'Don't ask' he said, 'the wife bought the season ticket back last summer, and kept it for a surprise Christmas present.'
The Grinch didn't really steal Christmas.
He just hired Chuck Norris.
Vote: