What did one Christmas tree say to the other?
You've got a lot of balls walking in here dressed like that.
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At Christmas time, there's nothing I love more than sitting in front of a warm fire, mulled wine in hand, and singing Christmas songs until I slowly fall asleep.
Maybe that's why I'm no longer a fireman.
What do you call an elf who tells silly jokes?
A real Christmas Card!
If Santa comes down the chimney this year and tries to stuff you in his sack, don't worry, because I wished for you for Christmas.
How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas?
Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.
This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad.
He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
Vote:
Q: What do you call Santa Claus with muscles?
A: Mr. XMass
The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
Vote:
Q: What did the deaf, blind, mute girl get for Christmas?
A: Cancer.
Vote:
Jesus said to John, "Come forth and receive eternal life."
He came fifth and received a toaster.