Joke #4892

Q: Why is it so hot at Phillies games? A: Because there's not a fan in the place.

Yo' Mama is like a hockey player, she doesn't change her pad for three periods.

The wife of a boxer wakes up because of the sounds that come from the dining room. She wakes her husband up: Rocky, I think someone wants a particular boxing lesson...

The basketball coach stormed into the university president's office and demanded a raise right then and there. "Please," protested the college president, "you already make more than the entire History department." "Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with," the coach blustered. "Look." He went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway. "Run over to my office and see if I'm there," he ordered. Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath. "You're not there, sir," he reported. "Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the president, scratching his head. "I would have phoned."

Seth: "Why is basketball the messiest Olympic sport?" Will: "I don't know." Seth: "Because the players dribble all over the court!"

A father and his son, Bobby, arrive at the local Rugby match and Dad can't find the tickets. Dad: "Nip home and see if I left the tickets there." Bobby: "No probs, Dad." Half an hour later Bobby returns to his dad who is patiently waiting outside the stadium. Bobby: "Yep, they're on the kitchen table where you left them."

A golfer tried three straight times to hit a golf ball over the inlet of water between him and the green. But each time the ball splashes into the drink. In utter frustration the golfer said, "Caddie, take my clubs on in, I'm going to jump into the water and drown myself." The caddie replied, "I doubt that, sir. You couldn't keep your head down long enough to drown!"

They presented him with a cup when he was a boxer. It was to keep his teeth in.

Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world." Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."

I’ve got nothing against watching a darts match. I just wish my IQ were low enough to enjoy it.

A burglary was recently committed at West Ham's ground and the entire contents of the trophy room were stolen. The police are looking for a man with a claret & blue carpet.