Q:How do sport players stay cool in game?
A:They stay in front of some fans!
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I’ve got nothing against watching a darts match.
I just wish my IQ were low enough to enjoy it.
Randy Johnson can throw a fastball 101mph.
Chuck Norris can throw Randy Johnson 101mph.
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What do you get if you cross a football team and an ice cream?
Aston Vanilla.
Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.
Vote:
They presented him with a cup when he was a boxer.
It was to keep his teeth in.
A guy about to tee off was approached by a man who held out a card that read, "I am a deaf mute. May I please play through?"
The first man gave the card back, angrily shaking his head, and saying, "No, you CANNOT play through." He assumed the guy read lips so he mouthed, "I can't believe you would try to use your handicap to your own advantage like that!
Shame on you!"
The deaf man walked away and the first man whacked the ball onto the green and then walked off to finish the hole.
Just as he was about to put the ball into the hole he was hit in the head with a golf ball that knocked him out cold.
When he came to a few minutes later, he looked around and saw the deaf mute sternly looking at him, one hand on his hip, the other hand holding up four fingers.
I bought a racehorse today, I called him My Face.
I don't care if he doesn't win, I just want to hear a load of posh twats shouting, "Come on My Face."
If the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
Rugby player: "Doctor, doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror - I feel like throwing up.
What's wrong with me?"
Doctor: "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."