Joke #7326

Q:How do sport players stay cool in game? A:They stay in front of some fans!
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A burglary was recently committed at West Ham's ground and the entire contents of the trophy room were stolen. The police are looking for a man with a claret & blue carpet.
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Q:Why is basketball the grossest sport there is? A:Because they dribble all over the court.
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Why did the football coach flood the pitch? Because he wanted to bring on the sub!
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Micheal Jordan to Chuck Norris: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours. Can you? Chuck Norris: (laughs) How do you think the earth spins?
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The Winter Olympics. Letting white people win at sports no one else can afford to learn.
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A man had an idea that could make him rich. After it was perfected he brought it to an inventors' help group. When asked what his great invention was, he pulled out an apple. The group looked at it and started laughing. The inventor said, "You don't understand! Taste it." A volunteer tried it and said, "Mmmmmmm, tastes like peaches." The inventor said, "Flip it over." He flipped it over and took another chunk of the apple. "Mmmmmmmm, tastes like grapes." The inventor offered a new apple and the volunteer said, "What does it taste like?" "Pussy," said the inventor. The guy bit into it, and spit it out with an awful look on his face and shouted, "That tasted like ass!" The inventor winked and said, "Flip it over."
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Did you hear that the boxer Colloso Mamello, was disqualified? Yes, but why? Because he was superstitious. He had a horseshow, hidden in his glove...
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What are the most athletic rodents? Track and field mice.
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Julia began her job in a secondary school as a counselor and she was keen to help the pupils. One day during break-time she noticed a girl standing all by herself on one side of the playing field while the rest of the children were enjoying a game of soccer at the other end of the field. Julia approached and asked if she was all right. The girl said that she was. Some time later, however, Julia noticed that the girl was in exactly the same spot, still by herself. Going up to her again, she enquired, 'Would you like me to be your friend?' The girl hesitated, then said, 'Alright,' while looking at Julia with some suspicion. Feeling she was making progress, Julia then asked, 'Why are you standing here all alone?' 'Because,' the girl said with a large sigh, 'I'm the goalie!'
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There was an old man named Bill, and one of the things he most enjoyed was playing golf with his old buddy Fred. Bill's wife always commented on how happy he looked after a game. But one day he came home from their weekly game looking terrible and very tired. His wife asked, "What's the matter, Bill? You always seem so happy after golf and you look miserable right now." Bill said, "Well, something terrible happened. Fred had a heart attack on the first hole." "My God, honey!" said the wife, rushing to comfort him. "That must've been terrible!" "It was," he said. "All day long it was: hit the ball, drag Fred to the ball, and then hit it again..."
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