Joke #2474

The boxer fells down in the fourth round. The referee starts counting. Billy’s grandmother gets up on her legs from the first row and screams: Stop counting for nothing, he won’t get up! I know him from the buss...

Question: What should a man do if his wife runs into the room during a baseball match and keeps disturbing you? Answer: Shorten the chain.

Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.

Mama Bear and Papa Bear are accused of child abuse. Baby Bear is put on the stand. The judge says, "Do you want to live with Papa Bear?" "No," Baby Bear replies. "He beats me." The judge then asks, "Do you want to live with Mama Bear?" "No," Baby Bear replies. "She beats me too." So the judge says, "So who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear replies, "I want to live with the Chicago Bears, they never beat anybody."

Q:Why don't hockey players drink tea? A:Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.

Yo' mama so fat, people exercise by doing laps 'round her!

Seth: "Why is basketball the messiest Olympic sport?" Will: "I don't know." Seth: "Because the players dribble all over the court!"

Guy: "You see doc, the problem is obesity runs in the family." Doctor: "No, the problem is no one runs in your family."

Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.

Fishing in a frozen lake It was a cold winter day. An old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line, and waited patiently for a bite. He was there for almost an hour, without even a nibble, when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice next to him. The young boy dropped his fishing line and minutes later he hooked a Largemouth Bass. The old man couldn't believe his eyes but chalked it up to plain luck. Shortly thereafter, the young boy pulled in another large catch. The young boy kept catching fish after fish. Finally, the old man couldn't take it any longer. "Son" he said, "I've been here for over an hour without even a nibble. You've been here only a few minutes and have caught a half dozen fish! How do you do it?" The boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm." "What was that?" the old man asked. Again the boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rarrm." "Look," said the old man, "I can't understand a word you're saying." The boy spat the bait into his hand and said... "You have to keep the worms warm!"

Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? A: The big hand touches the little one.