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Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe
Money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.
The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
My mother in law's farts are so horrible that I can rent her to governments for using instead of chemical weapons for destroying their enemies!
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Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.
Helium walks into a bar.
The bartender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
Q: Why can't lawyers do NMR?
A: Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
Little Johnny was a chemist.
Little Johnny is no more.
What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
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Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.
The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-.
These are also Chuck Norris' initials.
This is not a coincidence.
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