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Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.
A scientist tells a pharmacist, "Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid."
"Do you mean aspirin?" asks the pharmacist.
The scientist slaps his forehead. "That's it!" he says. "I can never remember the name."
Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!
Yo mama farts so much there is a reason why Jupiter is made out of gas.
A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?"
The proton replies "I'm positive."
My mother in law's farts are so horrible that I can rent her to governments for using instead of chemical weapons for destroying their enemies!
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Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
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Why did the Mexican take Xanax?
For hispanic attacks.