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Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe
Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.
"Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms," said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water.
The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed.
He then dropped the second work in the whiskey glass.
It writhed in pain for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died.
"Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" he asked.
Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"
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Why did the Mexican take Xanax?
For hispanic attacks.
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.
A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?"
The proton replies "I'm positive."
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
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Q: What do you get when you complete science class?
A: A graduated cylinder.
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