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Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I think I've lost an electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first says, "Yes, I'm positive..."
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.
Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry?
A: Never lick the spoon!
Q: What happens when spectroscopists are idle?
A: They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
Vote:
Why did the Mexican take Xanax?
For hispanic attacks.
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.