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My mother in law's farts are so horrible that I can rent her to governments for using instead of chemical weapons for destroying their enemies!
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An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.
A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5th to the left.
The chemist takes a shot and misses 5th to the right.
The statistician yells "We got 'em!"
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.
Little Johnny was a chemist.
Little Johnny is no more.
What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
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Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
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Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
A: BaNa2
Q: What happens when spectroscopists are idle?
A: They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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