Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground.The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. “Dear,” she chirped, “I think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted.”
Q: What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog? A: Gee, we really do taste like chicken!
What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday? A merry dairy.
Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man? A. "How do you breathe through something so small?"
What happened to the lost cattle? Nobody's herd.
Three mice in a pub having a bevy discussing who's the hardest. 1st mouse says I'm the hardest I go up to mousetraps rip the cheese out and as the bar comes down i bench press it 30 times and throw it across the room! 2nd mouse says : you poof! I get rat poison' crush it into powder and snort it. 3rd mouse finishes his drink, gets up and walks to the door, where are you going? asked the other 2. Home he replied to shag the cat!
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water? He set a new lap record.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says: "Dam"
Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
What is a cow's favorite lunch meat? Bullogna.