Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground.The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. “Dear,” she chirped, “I think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted.”
A zebra has wondered his whole life whether he was a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes. When he dies and goes to heaven he asks God the question "Am I a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes?" God responds, "You are what you are" The zebra goes to his friends and tells them what God had said and that he still doesn't know the answer to his question. One of his friends says, "Well, that means you are a white zebra with black stripes" The zebra asks him why and the friend says, "Because otherwise God would have said 'You is what you is'"
Q: What goes "oom... oom"? A: A cow walking backward!
What is the golden rule for cows? Do unto udders as you would have udders do to you.
"Your Honor, it was an accident! I had to run into the fence to keep from hitting the cow!" "Was it a Jersey cow?" "I don't know, I didn't see her license plate!"
How do you stop a skunk from smelling? You hold his nose!
What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house? The Lizard of Oz.
What are four hundred rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare line.
Which big cat should you never play cards with? A cheetah.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and sheep? A wooly jumper.
What do you call a grizzly bear caught in the rain? (A drizzly bear!)