Joke #3599

Q: When is the only time you can smack an ugly woman in the face? A: When her mustache is on fire.
Vote:
has 37.83 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: dirty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Yo mama so fat when you have sex with her you have to slap her stomach and ride the wave in.
Vote:
has 43.40 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fat, sex, vulgar, Yo mama
I've got something you can take up the chain.
Vote:
has 15.56 % from 130 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: Why shouldn't girls wear skirts in winter? A: Because their lips will get chapped!
Vote:
has 38.91 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, winter, women
Do you work at a cattery? Because I wanna be covered in pussy.
Vote:
has 49.79 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perked up and said, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!" "What a coincidence" the farmer said. "This is a special day for me, I am celebrating."  "This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating," said the woman. "What a coincidence!" said the farmer.  As they clinked glasses he added, "What are you celebrating?" "My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynaecologist told me that I am pregnant!" "What a coincidence!" said the man.  "I'm a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs." "That's great!" said the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?" "I used a different ****," he replied. The woman smiled, clinked his glass and said, "What a coincidence!"
Vote:
has 80.11 % from 231 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, dirty, husband, women
Q: What is the difference between a mouse and a dick? A: No difference. Both are searching a hole.
Vote:
has 75.33 % from 203 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex
Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive? A: Her ankles.
Vote:
has 71.05 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: dirty
“Honey”, says the wife to her husband, “last night I had the most AMAZING dream..I dreamed that we were making love and next to our bed there was a black man from Africa who was waving a fan to us and that gave me great satisfaction..” The couple decided to make the dream come true, so they found a black man and offered him 200 euros to wave the fan to them while they made love. The three of them went home and the couple started having sex while the black man was waving the fan. But still the wife couldn’t get any satisfaction..So she proposed that they should change roles. She would make love with the black man and the husband would wave the fan next to them. The husband accepted and started waving the fan… After a while, the wife screamed of pleasure and asked for more! So the husband said to the black man: “Do you understand now how you should wave the fan, you ashole?”
Vote:
has 79.28 % from 465 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, sex, wife
Woman to her husband while at it: "Please say dirty things to me!" Man: "Bath, Kitchen, Living room..."
Vote:
has 69.85 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, mean, men, women
How do you make a snooker table laugh. Put your hands in its pocket and tickle its balls.
Vote:
has 58.01 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: dirty, game