Joke #3599

Q: When is the only time you can smack an ugly woman in the face? A: When her mustache is on fire.

Are your legs made of Nutella? Because I'd love to spread them!

Dad says to his son, "Don't mast*rbate to much because you will go blind." Son say, "I'm over here?"

A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks "How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?" "Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you." The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey. One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first." The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have sex with the donkey. Then a man in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc?" "We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."

Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.

Yo mama so fat when you have sex with her you have to slap her stomach and ride the wave in.

Q: Who did little Johnny see when he snuck into the church late one night? A: Pastor Bedtime.

You work at a corner store and a hot girl walks in. You ask for her number and she gives you a piece of paper with her phone number and address. She tells you to take her out today. She leaves and you tell your boss that you're going to f*uck the sh*t out of her and how you're going to rock her world. You go to her house and your boss is in the kitchen and the girl tells him, big daddy. You run out as fast as you can. You go to work the next day and the girl is there waiting for you and tells you that it's over between you two. Your boss asks you why didn't you go through with it. You tell him you thought you would be mad and fire me if you knew I was talking about your daughter. Your boss says I'm not her father in her Plummer. You ask him why she called him daddy. He says because that's my first name.

A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?" The father replied. "Well son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine"

A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks "How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?" "Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you." The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey. One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first." The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have sex with the donkey. Then a man in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc?" "We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."

Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator? A: "What are you shaking about, it's me she's going to eat."