Q: When is the only time you can smack an ugly woman in the face?
A: When her mustache is on fire.
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Q: What do you call a blonde doing a handstand?
A: A brunette with bad breath.
Two blokes sitting in a bar, 1 says, "After 10 years of marriage, s*x is down to three times a year."
The other replies, "Same here pal, as a matter of fact if my wife didn't sleep with her mouth open I'd have none at all."
Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men?
A: Even the small ones give satisfaction.
Q: What is the difference between a mouse and a dick?
A: No difference. Both are searching a hole.
Q: What does it mean if you were born in September?
A: That your parents started the new year with a bang!
You don't have to wait until midnight to see my balls drop.
What does a Rubik's cube and a pen*s have in common?
They both get harder the longer you play with them.
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"
A professor told dirty jokes in class and the women wanted to protest it.
So they decided that in the next time that the professor will start with these kind of jokes they all will leave the class as a protest.
Somehow the professor heard about the plan.
In the next lecture, in the beginning of the lecture he said: "In Sweden a pr*stitute makes $2000 per night."
All the women stood up and started to leave the class.
So he shouted after them: "Where are you going? The plane to Sweden doesn't take off until the day after tomorrow."