Q: When is the only time you can smack an ugly woman in the face?
A: When her mustache is on fire.
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"Mom, where do tampons go?"
"Where the babies come from, darling."
"In a stork?
Q: Why doesn't Smokey the bear have any kids?
A: Because every time his wife gets hot, he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel.
What's long, hard, and shoots sticky white stuff?
A penis. What were you thinking you clean minded bastard.
A total naked woman rushed in a taxi.
The taxi driver turned back and stared at her so keenly.
The woman asked the taxi driver, "Why are you staring at me that way, haven't you ever seen a naked woman?"
The taxi driver replied, "No, I just wonder where you have my money."
How did Burger King get Diary Queen Pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his whopper.
What do you call a sex-crazed gay cannibal?
A head hunter!
A guy and a girl meet at a bar.
They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl’s place.
A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.
He then takes off his pants and washes his hands.
The girl watches him and says, “You must be a dentist”
The guy, surprised, says “Yes…how did you figure that out?”
The girl says, “Easy… you keep washing your hands."
One thing led to another and they make love.
After they were done, the girl says, “You must be a great dentist.”
The guy, now with a boosted ego says, “Yes, I sure am a great dentist. How did you figure that out?”
The girl says, “Easy… I didn’t feel a thing!”
We must admit that we want to be like some animals.
We all want to be strong like a bear, we want to have a sharp sight like a falcon, the intelligence like an owl, the endurance like a horse, we want to sing like a skylark, we want to be running like a fox and of course we all want to have the salivas like a dragon lizard.
What is the difference between a hippie girl and a muslim girl?
The hippie girl gets stoned before have sex.