''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''
Which big cat should you never play cards with? A cheetah.
I've been trying to find the right time to tell my pet hes adopted...
Q: Why did the lion brake up with his girlfriend? A: Cuz she was a CHEETAH!
One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, "How much is the yellow one?" The assistant says, "$2000." The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive. The assistant explains, "This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast." "What about the green one?" the man asks. The assistant says, "He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes." "What about the red one?" the man asks. The assistant says, "That one's $10,000." The man says, "What does HE do?" The assistant says, "I don't know, but the other two call him boss."
What do cows do when they re introduced? They give each other a milk shake.
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly swimming in my soup." Waiter: "So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?"
Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe when he roundhouse kicked a spotted Horse in the chin.
Q: What do you call a guy with his hand up a Camel's arse? A: An Arab mechanic.
Q: What do you call a chilly dog sitting on bunny? A: A Cold dog on a bun.
Why is there no gambling in Africa? -Too many Cheetahs!