Joke #3612

''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''
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What do you call a show full of lions? The mane event.
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What happened when the shark became famous? He tured into a starfish.
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Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of extreme pain...the snake died.
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Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat? A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
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Q: Why didn't Republicans save any of the black New Orleans residents from the flooding of Hurricane Katrina? A: They were busy trying to get two of each animal for their ark first and couldn't catch that damned roadrunner.
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What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster? A cock that stays up all night.
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What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit? The first herd shot round the world.
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What would you do if your were in a large room, all sealed up, no windows, the door was locked, and there were 5 hungry tigers, 32 vultures, 17 spitting cobras, 213 tarantulas, 1 laywer, and you had a gun with only two bullets? Shoot the lawyer twice.
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One day there was a tortoise walking on the road. Along came the hare that had once been defeated by the tortoise in a race. The hare was so angry from what had happened to him so he challenged him to another race. The tortoise gladly accepted his challenge. It ended up that the tortoise and the hare never finished the race because they both took a nap right before the finish line. So the tortoise is still the champion of the race. So remember this you snooze you loose!
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On the street strolls a chick dressed with fur from head to toes. Near hear another chick stops and says to hear: Do you imagine how many animals they had to kill for this coat? But do you know with how many animals I had to sleep with for it?
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