Joke #2946

Patty was sitting in her back yard digging a hole to bury her dead goldfish. Mrs. Johnson, who lived next door, was watching her over the fence. Mrs. Johnson said, "Patty, what are you doing?" Patty said, "I'm digging a hole to bury my dead goldfish." Mrs. Johnson said, "Patty, don't you think that hole is a little BIG for a goldfish?" Patty said, "No...it's inside your damn cat!"

The male worm towards the female worm: Baby, if you don’t take me as you’re husband, I’m throwing myself to the chickens!

Why do you never see zebras or antelopes at Victoria Station? Because it's a mane-lion station.

So...I had this rabbit that died of heatstroke after a week and I didn't have a time to name it. So after it died and was on my lap the name came to me...I'll call it floppy!

What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl? A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot.

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

One day some soldiers from a nearby Army camp saw a boy leading a donkey. They thought they would have some fun with him. "Say, boy," called out one of the soldiers. "You sure are keeping a tight rein on your brother, aren't you?" "Sure am," said the boy. "If I didn't he would probably join the Army."

What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster? A cock that stays up all night.

What happened when the lion ate the comedian? He felt funny.

What’s the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead black person in the road? There’s skid marks in front of the skunk.

Why do elephants squirt water through their noses? If they squirted it through their tails, it'd be very difficult to aim.