Patty was sitting in her back yard digging a hole to bury her dead goldfish. Mrs. Johnson, who lived next door, was watching her over the fence. Mrs. Johnson said, "Patty, what are you doing?" Patty said, "I'm digging a hole to bury my dead goldfish." Mrs. Johnson said, "Patty, don't you think that hole is a little BIG for a goldfish?" Patty said, "No...it's inside your damn cat!"
What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday? A merry dairy.
What's green green green green green? A frog rolling down a hill.
What do you call a poodle with no legs? A sponge.
When does a female deer need money? When she doesnt have a buck.
Q: What is the difference between a rooster and a whore? A: The rooster goes cock doodle do and the whore goes any cock do!
Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first. - Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)
Q: Why do bunnies have soft sex? A: They have cotton balls.
A magician had landed a comfortable job on a cruise ship. His act was rendered hilarious by his parrot who would ridicule the magician after every trick, saying "Big deal, the cards up his sleeve." or "He put the ball in a hidden floor, the big faker!" One night the ship began to sink and while confusion reigned, the magician was just barely able to get to a tiny life boat with his beloved parrot. For two days the magician and parrot floated on the rough seas. Strangely, the parrot sat on the opposite end of the craft just staring at the magician. Finally, on the fourth day, the parrot screamed ‘"kay, I give up… where the hell did you put the god damned boat!"
What did the frog say to the fly? You are really starting to bug me!
The more people I meet, the more I like my cat.