Joke #3857

Money isn’t everything, but at least it encourages relatives to stay in touch.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: money

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Terrorists take a group of lawyers hostage. They ask for a ransom of $20 million and threaten to release one lawyer at a time if not given what they ask for.
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Uncle gives little Johnny a £5 note for his birthday. ‘Spend it carefully,’ says Uncle. ‘Remember – a fool and his money are soon parted.’ Little Johnny replies, ‘Well you certainly handed it over fast enough.’
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Yo mama so poor when i went to her house and picked up a paper plate she yelled "Not my good china!"
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A little monster was learning to play the violin,' I'm good, aren't I?' he asked his big brother. 'You should be on the radio,' said his brother. 'You think I'm that good?' 'No, I think you're terrible, but if you were on the radio, I could switch you off !
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has 34.09 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: money, music
After years of scrimping and saving, a husband told his wife the good news: "Honey, we've finally got enough money to buy what we started saving for in 1979." "You mean a brand-new Cadillac?" she asked eagerly. "No," said the husband, "a 1979 Cadillac."
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: husband, money, wife
Why does ET have such big eyes? He saw the phone bill.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: money
After Graduating from High School, David moves away from home to study at University. One of his letters home reads: Dear Father, University i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply ¢an't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love, Your $on. After receiving his son's letter, the father immediately replies by sending a letter back. Dear David, I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh. Love, Dad
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has 77.57 % from 179 votes. More jokes about: dad, graduation, money, school, student
Robert came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed. 'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', Asked Robert. 'I'm going to Nairobi', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get 4000 a night for what I give you for free! 'Robert said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand. 'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife. Robert said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on 8000 a year!'
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Q: If marriage is terrific what is divorce? A: Ten thousand!
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: divorce, marriage, money
A young woman walks into a bank to withdraw some money. ‘Can you identify yourself?’ asked the bank clerk. The young woman opens her handbag, takes out a mirror, looks into it and says, ‘Yes, it’s me all right.’
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: money