Money isn’t everything, but at least it encourages relatives to stay in touch.
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If I won the Lottery, I wouldn’t be one of those people who immediately quit their jobs.
I’d make my boss’s life a living hell for a week or two first.
Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices.
His vehicles run on fear.
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Yo' Mama is so poor, she eats cereal with a fork to save milk.
Q: Have you heard about McDonald's new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
A Lalu brought a simple, spendthrift wife from a small town in Bihar.
He convinced her that they should go for Honeymoon.
The wife would not understand complex term as honeymoon and kept asking for explanation.
Lalu said, "Let me feel you my manhood in Honeymoon and you would know."
They went.
Had lots of fun and came back.
Wife back at home asked, "I still don’t understand what is this honeymoon that we went for."
The Husband said, "Oh, we were together, had so many hugs, kisses, varieties of sex, jokes, fun all that is honeymoon."
The spendthrift wife got angry, "You should have told me that before. Back in town, Malu, Kalu, Suru and I were together all the times, and had this fun without spending a dime of my money."
A worker goes to his boss and says, ‘You have to give me a raise.
There are three other companies after me.’
‘Is that so?’ says the manager.
‘And what companies are those?’
The worker replies, ‘The electric company, the telephone company, and the gas company.’
Fred: Thank you so much for lending me that money.
I shall be everlastingly in your debt.
Harry: That's what I'm afraid of!
Q: How do you know you've got a good tax accountant?
A: He's had a loophole named after him.
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A blonde and brunette were watching the 6 o’clock news.
The news was about a man about ready to jump off a bridge.
The brunette turns to the blonde and says, ” I BET you $50 the man is going to jump.”
The blonde replies, “Okay you’re on.” Sure enough, the man jumps, and the blonde gives the brunette $50.
The brunette says, “I can’t accept this MONEY. I watched the 5 o’clock news and saw the man jump then.”
“No, you have to take it,” says the blonde.
“I watched the 5 o’clock news too, but I didn’t think he would do it again.”
How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four.
One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.
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