What's the quickest way to lose 190 pounds of ugly fat? Divorce him.
What's the Australian Male's idea of foreplay? "Brace yourself, Sheila."
Why don't women blink during foreplay? They don't have time.
Men are like.....Weather. Nothing can be done to change either one of them.
What's the difference between a man and an ox? Fifteen pounds and a six-pack.
How can you tell if a man is aroused? He's breathing.
Sex is when a guys communication, enters a girls information, to increase the population, for a younger generation, do you get the information... or do you need a demonstration.
A Knight was getting ready for the crusade. Ha turned to his friend and told him: "My fiancée is the most beautiful girl in the world and I can't imagine her being with someone else, while I'm gone. You're my best friend and I trust you. Here's the key for her chastity belt. In case I never get back, unlock her and set her free." When the crusade Knights were a mile away from the village, the Knight gets an urgent message: "Mate, You Gave Me The Wrong Key!"
Hi, I see that you're new to this gym, and I wanna be the first male to bother you.
Why is a man different from a PC? You only have to tell the PC once.
What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? Any place without a drive-up window.