Joke #3306

What's the quickest way to lose 190 pounds of ugly fat? Divorce him.
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Men are like.....Vacations. They never seem to be long enough.
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What is a man's idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging.
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

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What's the difference between a bachelor & a married man? Bachelor comes home, see's what's in the fridge & goes to bed. Married man comes home, see's what's in the bed & goes to the fridge.
Vote: has 78.50 % from 79 votes. Send joke:

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HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine and dine her, buy gifts for her, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her. HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN Arrive naked... with beer.
Vote: has 88.03 % from 721 votes. Send joke:

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How do men define a "50/50" relationship? We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.
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How to Impress a Woman: compliment her, kiss her, caress her, love her, comfort her, protect her, hold her, spend money on her, wine & dine her, listen to her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her. How to Impress a Man: show up naked, bring beer.
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Stupid? He wanted to be a farmer. So he studied pharmacy.
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How can you tell if a man is aroused? He's breathing.
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One man (lets call him Johnny) came to gun shop. J(ohnny):I want a pistol S(alesman):Choose from this wall (points at wall full of pistols) J: (points at biggest pistol) I want this, S: An .44 Magnum? And for what purpose? J: For shooting cans. S: (points on smaller handgun) For shooting cans is the best this one. J: (points again on .44) No, I want this one. S: And what cans will you shoot at? J: Um...Mexi-cans, Portori-cans, Afri-cans...
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How is a man like a snowstorm? You don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay.
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