Joke #3306

What's the quickest way to lose 190 pounds of ugly fat? Divorce him.
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What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? Any place without a drive-up window.
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Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women? When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
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Two hunters shot a deer, and were dragging him to the car by the hind leg, which was difficult because the other legs kept snagging in the brush. "Chet, I've got an idea, I think we are doing this wrong. Let's try dragging him by the horns, like we were advised by the ammo-store salesman." "OK," says Ivan. After a while, Ivan says, "I think this is a lot better because his legs fold up and don't get caught in the brush, but we seem to be getting farther from the car."
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Why does a penis have a hole at the end? So guys can be open-minded.
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In the beginning, God created Earth and then rested. After that, He creaed man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man got ever rested.
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Why do men like masturbation? It's sex with someone they love.
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How many men does it take to pop popcorn? Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.
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What is the difference between a man and E.T.? E.T. phoned home.
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Boy: "You know unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy" Girl: "Why are you leaving?"
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Q: Why are men so happy? A: Because ignorance is bliss.
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