Joke #3306

What's the quickest way to lose 190 pounds of ugly fat? Divorce him.
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has 34.78 % from 6 votes. More jokes about: men

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A guy was going to Texas and when he went on the train he said, "Ohh my god Texas chairs are really big." He went to a bar he asked for a bear and when the bar tender gave him the mug of bear the guy said, "Wooww Texas mugs are really big." Later he asked the bar tender were is the bathroom and the bar tender said, "Strait on your right." But the guy went on his left and when he entered the room he slipped and feel in the swimming pool and said, "Don't flush don't flush!"
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men
What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A rumor.
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has 73.89 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: men
What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups? Put the remote control between his toes.
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has 34.87 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: men
A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says, "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four". Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return. This time the husband crosses his fingers and says "Mirror, mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!". Again, there's a bright flash...and his legs fell off.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: men
Three rednecks were working up on a cell phone tower: Cooter, Ronnie and Donnie. As they start their descent, Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Ronnie says, "Well, shucks, someone should go and tell his wife." Donnie says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it." Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Budweiser. Ronnie says, "Where did you get that beer, Donnie?" "Cooter's wife gave it to me," Donnie replies. "That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?" "Well, not exactly", Donnie says. "When she answered the door, I said to her, "You must be Cooter's widow." She said, "You must be mistaken. I'm not a widow." Then I said, "I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you are."
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has 81.36 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: men
What do you call a take-out low-calorie meal for a cowboy? A Saddle Light Dish.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: cowboy, food, men
Why are blonde jokes so short? So men can remember them.
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: blonde, men
Did you hear about the man who got a vasectomy at Sears? Now every time he gets excited, the garage door goes up.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: men
There is the chief of Indians, and he is going down a field with his tribe, and they come across a pile of sh*t.So the chief asks his tribe men : "Does this look like sh*t to you?" "Yes is does", they replied. "Smell it. Does it smell like sh*t to you", asks the Chief. "Mmmmm..Yes" "Feel it. Does it feel like sh*t to you?", says the Chief. "Mmmmm..Yes" "Lick it. Does it taste like sh*t to you?", inquires the Chief. "Ammmm...Yes" "Good. Don't step on it!"
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: men
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: men