Joke #3306

What's the quickest way to lose 190 pounds of ugly fat? Divorce him.
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: men

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Men are like.....Commercials. You can't believe a word they say
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A man walks into a bar and says "I just got back from the battered woman's shelter, and boy are my arms tired." Everyone laughed. The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone. He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter's pantry, regardless of what others may think.
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: men
A priest and a shepherd from Australia participate in a TV game. After answering all the questions, there is a tie. So both are given one final assignment. It is to write a poem in three minutes, using the word "Timbuktu". It is city in Africa. The priest returns with the fruit of his inspiration: "I was a father all my life, I had no children, had no wife, I read the bible through and through on my way to Timbuktu ... " The poem makes a great impression, and the priest smells a sweet victory. But then comes the shepherd, with his winning masterpiece: "When Tim and I to Brisbane went We met three women cheap to rent. They were three and we were two, So I booked one and Tim Booked Two ... "
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has 86.27 % from 683 votes. More jokes about: men
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bottom." The doctor asks him to drop his trousers and examines him. The man asks, "Is it serious, doctor?" The doctor replies, "I'm sorry to tell you, but this is just the tip of the iceberg."
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has 75.27 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: men
A man went into the drugstore and asked for a deodorant. "The ball type?" asked the clerk. "No," said the dumb man. "It's for my underarms."
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has 65.32 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men
Q: Why do men like blonde jokes? A: Because they can understand them.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: men
They say the surest way to a man's heart is through the stomach. But personally, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
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has 71.16 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food, love, men
Men are like guns. Keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: men
A man and woman were on their first date. The woman was trying to make conversation and said, "So I hear you hunt deer." The man looked away and turned red. "What's wrong?" asked the woman. "I'm not used to someone calling me dear on the first date," the man said.
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has 60.76 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: communication, dating, hunting, men, women
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something."
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: men