Joke #1497

What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? Full.
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has 56.02 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: disgusting

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One night as a bartender is closing up his bar, he hears a knock at the back door. When he opens the door, there stands a bum who asks, "Can I have a toothpick?" The bartender gives him a toothpick and continues cleaning up his bar. Five minutes later, he hears another knock at the door. Again, there stands another bum who asks, "Can I have a toothpick?" The bartender gives him a toothpick and continues cleaning up the bar. Five minutes later, he hears another knock at the back door. This time, there's a bum asking for a straw. The owner gives him a straw, but finally asks what's going on out there. The bum replies, "Some lady threw up in the back, but all the good stuff is gone."
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has 11.38 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: bar, bartender, disgusting
This morning as I was buttoning my shirt, a button fell off. After that, I picked up my briefcase, and the handle fell off. Then I went to open the door, and the doorknob fell off. I went to get into my car, and the door handle came off in my hand. Now I'm afraid to pee.
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has 69.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
What's red and lies in all four corners of the room? A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.
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has 31.53 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting
Did you hear what the blonde who was opening a new bar said when her lawyer explained to her that she needed a liquor license?  "Oh, it's not gonna be THAT kind of a bar. That's disgusting!"
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has 71.25 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: bar, blonde, disgusting, lawyer
Why do women always fart only when they go to the bathroom? They have to blow dry—and there's nothing to shake.
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has 29.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, women
Q: What's the difference between driving in the fog and eating pussy? A: At least when you are eating pussy you can see the asshole in front of you.
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has 72.99 % from 414 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, sex
A man goes into a psychiatric hospital to visit one of his buddies. As he is walking out he notices a guy pretending to be swinging a hockey stick. Curious, he asks: "What are you doing?" The guy replies: "I'm Wayne Gretzky, and I'm practicing my shot." Satisfied with the answer the visitor moves on down the hall. He notices another guy pretending to be playing golf. Curious, he asks: "What are you doing?" The guy replies: "I'm Tiger woods and I'm practicing my golf." Satisfied with this response the visitor again moves on down the hall. He then sees another guy sitting in a chair in the nude with a jar of peanuts beside him. This guy takes a peanut, places it on his dick, waits a minute, then flicks into his mouth. Again, curious he asks: "What are you doing?" The guy replies: "I'M FUCKING NUTS!"
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
So that there be less strife May your dreams be sweet And your ass does not tweet tonight.
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, poems, vulgar
Being single is cool cause you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss.
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, food, single
A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders a hamburger. The huge guy behind the counter bellows, "One burger!" Whereupon the chef grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it in his bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and then tosses it on the grill. "That's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen," the old lady says. "Yeah?" says the counterman. "You should be here in the morning when he makes the doughnuts."
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: disgusting