In a small cathedral a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the minister.
The minister asked the janitor, "Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for me?
I really have to go to the bathroom and the Widow McGee is coming.
She tends to go on but never really does anything worthy of serious repentance, so when she's done just give her 10 Hail Mary's and I'll be right back."
Being the helpful sort, the janitor agreed.
Just as expected the Widow McGee came into the booth and started her confession.
"Oh Father, I fear I have done the unforgivable.
I have given into carnal thoughts and have had oral sex."
Stunned, the janitor had no idea how to handle this situation.
Surely 10 Hail Mary's would not do.
So, in a moment of desperation the janitor peered his head out of the confessional and asked an altar boy, "Son, what does the minister give for oral sex?"
In reply the altar boy said, "Two Snickers bars and a Coke."
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
What do you call it when someone farts in a Gay Bar?
Mating call
Gays don't fart - their asses fetch a sigh.
Sign at a gay nudist colony: "Gentlemen playing leapfrog are requested to complete their leaps!"
One day, a Sodomite went to his doctor's office to get an HIV blood test.
While there, his blood got drawn and he then left.
Two weeks later, he was back at his doctor's office in an examination room, waiting for the result of the HIV test.
Suddenly, his doctor walks into the examination room and says to the gay guy, "I'm awfully sorry to tell you that the test shows that you're definitely HIV positive."
The gay guy then asks the doctor, "So, what needs to be done now, doctor?"
The doctor says to the gay dude, "I want you to go home, sit down at your kitchen table and eat 20 hamburgers, 20 hot dogs, 20 pizzas, 20 bags of chips, and 20 gallons of ice cream."
The gay then asks his doctor, "How's doing all that gonna help me out with my HIV, doctor?"
The doctor then replied, "It's not gonna help you out with your HIV at all but it will definitely teach you what your asshole is really for."
Chuck Norris can use a Shake Weight without looking gay.
Vote:
A nun gets on a bus thats empty except for the driver.
She says "I'm going to die soon but I want to have sex before I die. Problem is I must remain a virgin so it has to be to ass. I can't commit adultery, so the man must be single.Can you fulfill my wish?"
"Yes" says the bus driver and fulfills her wish.
Feeling guilty he says "I'm sorry I lied, I'm married with 3 kids."
"Thats ok" replied the nun "I lied too."
"My name is Kevin and Im going to a fancy dress party."
Q: What do you call a gay drive by?
A: "a fruit roll up."
Q: Why can't gays drive faster than 68mph?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod.
Q: Why did the gay guy think his lover was cheating on him?
A: He came home shit faced.
Vote:
Two couples decide to spend the weekend away together at a posh hotel.
When they get there, one guy suggests they indulge in partner-swapping as a trial.
After 2 hours of solid sex by the fireside, the guy turned to his new partner and said, "Wow! This is the very best sex I've had in years! I wonder how the girls are doing?"