Joke #7949

Why don't men have mid-life crises? They stay stuck in adolescence.
Vote: has 54.16 % from 10 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A drunk guy took a cat home to his wife and said: "See... here is the a monkey of the jungle." His wife said laughing, "That's a CAT ..." He said back to his wife, "I am talking to the cat!"
Vote: has 79.60 % from 53 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, cat, drunk, men, wife
If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons.
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, men
Husband: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? Wife: Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men
It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, Halloween, kids, mean, men
What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? Any place without a drive-up window.
Vote: has 24.92 % from 8 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men
What do you call a handcuffed man? Trustworthy.
Vote: has 31.56 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men
Why do men name their penises? Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions.
Vote: has 45.58 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men
"Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking and running around until all hours of the night. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music, even how to invest in the stock market," said the man. "Sounds like you may be bitter because she changed you so drastically," remarked his friend. "I'm not bitter. Now that I'm so improved, she just isn't good enough for me."
Vote: has 85.54 % from 297 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, marriage, men, wife
Charlie was responsible for taking up the offerings at a local church. One Sunday, after the service, the priest counted the money and found there was less than anticipated, given the size of the congregation. He took Charlie aside and questioned him. Charlie said that he did not take any of the offerings. The priest questioned him again and again and Charlie continued to insist that he did not take any of the offerings. So, the priest told Charlie to get into the confessional, which he did. The priest then asked him again, "Charlie, did you take any of the offering?" This time, Charlie replied, "I can’t hear you." The priest asked Charlie the same question several times and Charlie would always reply, "I can’t hear you." Finally, the priest yelled, "Charlie, did you take any of the offering?" Again, the reply was, "I can’t hear you." The priest was now beginning to get angry, so he came out of the confessional and said to Charlie, "Trade places with me and you can ask me a question." So, they traded places and Charlie asked, "Is it true that you and my wife are having an affair?" To which the priest replied, "By golly, you’re right, you can’t hear in here!"
Vote: has 79.95 % from 79 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: church, men, money, priest, wife
Statistics say that women think they are smarter than men because they can fake orgasms. Men say "Big deal. We can fake a whole relationship just for a shag."
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men