Joke #1649

Men are like.....Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
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Q: What would men do if they had breasts? A: They'd stay at home and play with them all day.
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Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. Men will screw anything.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

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"What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?" "A Budweiser in each hand!"
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A man walks into a clock shop where a beautiful woman is working. He walks to the counter unzips his fly and pulls out his cock. The woman screams "excuse me sir this is a CLOCK SHOP". I know replied the man "I want two hands and a face put on this".
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What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? The man.
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A burglar breaks into a house and is quietly and expertly collecting valuables in his bag when he hears a voice: "Jesus is watching you."
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I was on the subway, sitting on a newspaper, and a guy comes over and asks "Are you reading that?" I didn’t know what to say. So I said yes. I stood up, turned the page, and sat down again.
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A man and his ever nagging wife were on holiday in Jerusalem, when the wife suddenly died. The funeral company told the man that it would cost 45000 to ship her home or $500 to bury her in Jerusalem. The husband said "ship her home". Shocked, the undertaker asked "but sir, why don't you bury her in the Holy Land and save the money ?" The husband replied "a long time ago, a man was buried here and 3 days later, he rose from the dead ... I cant take the chance !"
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What is the difference between a man and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.
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How to Impress a Woman: compliment her, kiss her, caress her, love her, comfort her, protect her, hold her, spend money on her, wine & dine her, listen to her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her. How to Impress a Man: show up naked, bring beer.
Vote: has 68.66 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

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