Joke #5957

Every man thinks he's a dream of every woman. Sorry guys, but the dream of every woman is eating all the time and not to get fat.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: men

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Yesterday, government scientists suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned.
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has 58.99 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: beer, men, political, science, women
Camilla goes to the doctors and says "Doctor, whenever one sucks Charlie's cock one gets a stomach ache." The doctor says "Have you tried Andrew's?"
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has 58.52 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: doctor, men, sex
Did you hear about the man who spent too much of his company's money on Viagra? Now he's hard up.
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has 69.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: business, men, money, viagra
Boy: "Hey baby, what's your sign?" Girl: "Do Not Enter!"
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has 70.87 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: flirt, mean, men, women
How are men and parking spots alike? The good ones are always taken and the ones that are left are handicapped.
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: men
Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera? Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.
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has 33.37 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: men
One day there were two men. One was driving a Mercedes Benz and the other was riding a horse, both waiting at the traffic light. The man in the Benz looked at the horse and noticed something different, that horse was not a normal horse. It was an electric horse and has 3 buttons in it if you press one button it moves forward, if you press the second button it moves faster and if you press the last button it will stop. The guy in the Benz was really impressed, so he asked the guy riding the horse if he wanted to trade the horse for the Benz, so he agreed. They did the trade and the guy riding the horse drove the Benz and went on his way but the other guy was still stuck in the traffic light trying to get the horse to move. He tried all the buttons but the horse does not seem to be moving so he called the horse owner and asked him if he can come back to show him how to move the horse. So the guy came back, he pressed all the buttons again but the horse still doesn't move. He noticed the horse's penis was up so he tells the other guy: "Ohh you forgot to release the handbrake!"
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has 57.27 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: car, dirty, horse, men, technology
How many men would it take to mop a floor? No one knows; they've never done it.
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has 78.59 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: men
Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism.
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: marriage, men
Two couples are playing cards. John accidentally drops some cards on the floor. When he bends down under the table to pick them up, he notices that Bill's wife isn't wearing any underwear. Later, John goes into the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bill's wife follows him and asks, "Did you see anything that you liked under there?" John admits that he did. She says, "You can have it, but it will cost you $100." They decide that John should come to her house around 2 p.m. on Friday while Bill is at work. On Friday, John arrives at 2 p.m. He pays Bill's wife $100. They go to the bedroom, have sex and then John leaves. When Bill comes home at 6 p.m., he asks his wife, "Did John come by this afternoon?" Reluctantly, she replies, "Yes, he did stop by for a few minutes." Next Bill asks, "Did he give you $100?" She thinks, "Oh hell, he knows!" Finally she says, "Well, yes, he did give me $100." "Good," Bill says. "John came by the office this morning and borrowed $100 from me. He said that he would stop by our house on his way home and pay me back."
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has 84.26 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: men