This man goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs. He says to the clerk, "I'd like to register my new invention. It's a folding bottle." "OK," says the clerk. "What do you call it?" "A fottle, replies the inventor." "A fottle? That's a stupid! Can't you think of something else?" "I can think about it. I've got something else though. It's a folding carton." "And what do you call that?" asks the clerk. "A farton", replies the inventor. "That's rude. You can't possibly call it that!" "In that case," says the inventor... "You're really going to hate the name of my folding bucket."
A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time. He responded, "Sure. You carry the suitcases!"
He: Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way. She: Well, you succeeded.
How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? Make him wear shoes.
How can you tell when a man is well hung? When you can just barely slip your finger between his neck and the noose.
How many men does it take to pop popcorn? Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.
Q: Why are there only snow men and not snow women? A: Because only men are dumb enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine and dine her, buy gifts for her, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her. HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN Arrive naked... with beer.
What does a man consider a seven course meal? A hot dog and a six pack.
Q: How many men does it take to put down a toilet seat? A: Who knows it's never been done.
Why is a man different from a PC? You only have to tell the PC once.