Joke #1672

Silence is golden. Unless you have an infant. Then its probably blue.

A waitress walks up to a man to take his order. "I'd like to get the turtle soup, please." The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead. "Hold the turtle, make it pea!"

How do you make a woman scream twice in the bedroom? Fuck her in the ass then wipe your dick on the curtains.

A doctor complains to his colleagues about the sanitary problems at a latex glove factory in Mexico. "Workers stick their hands in melted latex and then dip their hands in a vat of cooling water to solidify the latex. The glove is then thrown in a finished products box." His colleagues are disgusted by the lack of care taken in keeping the gloves sanitary. "That's not all," says the doctor. "You don't even want to know how they make their condoms!"

Q: Did you hear about the leper poker game? A: One guy threw in his hand and the other three laughed their heads off.

Q: What's the hardest thing about a sex change from a man to a woman? A: Inserting the anchovies

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs, with a ten inch penis? A: "Partially disabled."

What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? A salad shooter.

There once was a girl named Suzy Brown Said no one could lay her down. Over the hill came Piss Paul Pete, With forty pounds of swinging meat. He took her in the long tall grass, Shoved his dick right up her ass. Then she blew one gnarly fart, Blew his ball two feet apart. Over the hill went Piss Paul Pete, With forty pounds of shredded meat.

Two cannibals just got their hands on a corpse. One says to the other, "I'll start at the head, you start at the feet." They start to eat, and after awhile the one at the head yells to the other one, "Hey, how's it going?" The other replies, "I'm having a ball!" Getting mad, the one at the head yells, "Dammit, slow down, you're eating too fast!"

How do you f*ck a fat chick? Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.