Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
All men are created equal. Equally inferior to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris dosent swim, water just likes him.
Do you know why the Earth's spinning ? Because Chuck Norris is running on it.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
Chuck Norris once won a blinking contest against a statue!
Chuck Norris sky dives without a parachute.
The Matrix is a game on Chuck Norris' PS3.
Crop Circles are Chuck Norris's preschool art projects.
Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.