Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart.
The clerk told him to have a nice day.
The next day the clerk was found dead.
The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why.
He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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There is no theory of evolution.
Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
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The Beatles originally sang "All you need is Chuck Norris".
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Chuck Norris created the Grand Canyon because he coughed "Just Once".
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Ghost Busters call Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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Chuck Norris once stitched up a cut in his arm with a spoon.
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Chuck Norris does, in fact, put his pants on two legs at a time.
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Chuck Norris cut his scissors using his hair.
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Chuck Norris invented zombies so that he can kill his victims again.
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