Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
Chuck Norris cannot only accelerate beyond the speed of light. He can also accelerate beyond the speed of dark.
Chuck Norris is the only one who doesn't have to tell PayPal to switch the funding source to his credit card.
Chuck Norris only works out once a year... that's about all the gym equipment can take.
Teacher to student "Why is every answer on your test 'Chuck Norris'?" Student to teacher "Chuck Norris is the answer to all problems!"
Chuck Norris can scratch sandpaper.
When Chuck Norris drives a Lamborghini, people assume the Llamborghini is compensating for something.
Chuck Norris designed and created two series of cars. These are now known as Autobots and Decepticons.
The energizer bunny freezes when it sees Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris broke a mirror and got 7 years of good luck.
Chuck Norris Killed Medusa with a round house Kick.