Chuck Norris wears white to a funeral, no one asks why.
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Chuck Norris can make you laugh at your own funeral.
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Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
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Chuck Norris cancelled his own funeral.
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Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.
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It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured.
It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.
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Q: What's the slowest thing on 80 wheels?
A: A Mexican funeral with only two sets of jumper cables.
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Chuck actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
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A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly.
Suddenly, Lorraine died.
At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."
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I was a little taken aback when I got my receipt from the funeral parlor, on the bottom of the receipt, after the bill, it read, "Thank you. Please come again."
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Chuck Norris doesn't jump. He moves the ground away from him.
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