Chuck Norris wears white to a funeral, no one asks why.
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Chuck Norris can make you laugh at your own funeral.
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Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
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Chuck Norris cancelled his own funeral.
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Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.
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It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured.
It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.
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Elvis Presley, Richard Petty, Budweiser, and Michael Jackson all call Chuck Norris "The King".
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Notice, there are no Chuck Norris video games. They would be way too easy.
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Chuck Norris can sink a hole in none!
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There was a Packers fan with a really crappy seat at Lambeau.
Looking with his binoculars, he spotted an empty seat on the 50-yard line.
Thinking to himself "what a waste" he made his way down to the empty seat.
When he arrived at the seat, he asked the man sitting next to it, "Is this seat taken?"
The man replied, "This was my wife's seat. She passed away. She was a big Packers fan."
The other man replied,"I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. May I ask why you didn't give the ticket to a friend or a relative?"
The man replied, "They're all at the funeral."
Q: What's the slowest thing on 80 wheels?
A: A Mexican funeral with only two sets of jumper cables.
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