Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police.
They are used as bullet proof vests.
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Chuck Norris' name is never on the guest list - because if Chuck Norris turns up, Chuck Norris gets in.
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Chuck Norris can tie your hands behind your back with both hands tied behind his back.
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Chuck Norris can press "Pause" on reality.
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We live in an expanding universe.
All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris saved 100% on his car insurance by switching to Geico.
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When Chuck Norris tries to kill himself, he always dodges the killing blow 'cause he's that awesome.
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Chuck Norris once climbed Mt Everest by accident.
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Chuck Norris is another name for Terror.
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Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes.
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Mortal Kombat was originally called 'Ways Chuck Norris Can Kill You'.
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