Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police.
They are used as bullet proof vests.
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Chuck Norris can pop every kernel in the bag without burning one.
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Chuck Norris puts ice cube trays in the cupboard, and he gets ice.
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When Chuck Norris watches a horror movie, Chuck Norris dosen't scream, the movie does.
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Lactose is Chuck Norris intolerant.
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The AC/DC song "Highway to Hell" is about Chuck Norris' driveway.
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Chuck Norris reached level 51 on Oblivion.
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Chuck Norris can Do Mental Math on Paper.
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Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
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Chuck Norris once stitched up a cut in his arm with a spoon.
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Do you know why God is called "God"?
Because "Chuck Norris" is already taken.
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