Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police.
They are used as bullet proof vests.
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Chuck Norris once spelled the entire alphabet using only M&Ms.
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Chuck Norris walked into a bar.
"OUCH!" said the bar.
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You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
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Chuck Norris made Stevie Wonder flinch.
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Cocaine is Addicted to Chuck Norris.
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T. S. Eliot measured out his life with coffee spoons.
Chuck Norris uses a backhoe.
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Chuck Norris doesn't daydream.
He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
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Chuck Norris bunked school one day.
Till today that day is known as Sunday.
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When Chuck Norris tries to kill himself, he always dodges the killing blow 'cause he's that awesome.
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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
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