Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police.
They are used as bullet proof vests.
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Santa Claus asks Chuck Norris for presents.
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What does the fox say?
Whatever the hell Chuck Norris tells him to.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris paints little red wagons for a living with his victim's blood.
But not the wheels.
That's just wrong.
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While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
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Chuck Norris can watch DVD's on a VCR.
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Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
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Chuck Norris sends paper letters through email.
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Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris got into Cambridge... without any qualifications.
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