Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police.
They are used as bullet proof vests.
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Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.
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Chuck Norris can pick "side" when flipping a coin.
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Some people wear Superman Underwear, Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.
On the other hand, Chuck Norris wears no underwear.
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Chuck Norris can light the contents of the Windows recycle bin on fire.
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Chuck Norris does not go fishing, the fish surrender.
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Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour.
He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
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Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
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Chuck Norris doesnt eat lunch, he drinks dinner.
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Charlie Sheen can achieve recovery by taking a drug called Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris takes a meteor shower.
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