Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police.
They are used as bullet proof vests.
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Chuck Norris never has a deja vu.
No scene would be that stupid to appear in front of the man twice.
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Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
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Chuck Norris jokes are a oxymoron because Chuck Norris isn't a joke.
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Lactose is Chuck Norris intolerant.
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Chuck Norris can remember the future.
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The fact that the evil killer doll from the movie 'Child's play' is named 'Chucky' is not a coincidence.
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Got said, "Let there be light!"
Chuck Norris looked at him and said: "Say please."
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Chuck Norris' tears would save lives, if he'd cry.
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Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us.
The only difference is, then he kills people.
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If Chuck Norris were to ever bungee jump, the earth would flinch.
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