Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police.
They are used as bullet proof vests.
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Chuck Norris doesn't contribute to global warming, he exhales pure oxygen.
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Chuck Norris doesn't hold any world records, he broke them all.
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Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
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Chuck Norris found the stairway to heaven, but he prefers the elevator.
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If Chuck Norris told you to jump off a bridge, would you?
Of course you would.
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Whenever Chuck Norris rolls a 6 sided dice, he always rolls a 7.
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All men are born equal.
Chuck Norris was just born more equal than everyone else.
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Chuck Norris can build a Water Dam...
In the Sahara Desert.
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Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.
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Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine.
We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.
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