Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police.
They are used as bullet proof vests.
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Lehman Brothers owed Chuck Norris a fiver.
When he asked for payback, well, you know the rest.
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Who do you think would win in a fight? Godzilla or King Kong
Neither, Chuck Norris doesn't let his pets fight!
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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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Once an email was sent from LA to Washington.
Chuck Stopped it at St. Louis.
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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Chuck Norris does not sleep.
He waits.
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Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
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Ghosts are created when Chuck Norris kills people to fast for the grim reaper to prosses.
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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
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Chuck Norris saved 100% on his car insurance by switching to Geico.
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