Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police. They are used as bullet proof vests.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
When Chuck Norris played the card game War with a friend, France surrendered.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Chuck Norris does not open doors. Tthe doors have the common courtesy to open for him
Chuck Norris built the hospital in which he was born.
All of Chuck Norris's opinions can be proven with science.
Years ago Chuck Norris set up a simple little home network and gave it a name. It's called the internet.
Chuck Norris doesn't fall, he merely tests the durability of the floor with his face.
Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
Chuck Norris finds it impossible to understand the concept of impossibility.