"Mommy, Mommy! Where have all your scabs gone?" "Shut up and eat your corn flakes."
How does herpes leave the hospital? On crotches.
Q: Why are men like diapers? A: They are always on your ass and full of sh*t, and thankfully, they're disposable.
Did you hear about the midget that went into the whorehouse? He got a twat in the face.
If I wanted to hear from an a**hole I would fart.
A demon died and was asked by god what he wanted to become in his next life. The demon said "I wish to become good in my next life. I want to be as pure and white as an angel and also have angel wings... But I still want to drink blood." So god turned him into a maxi pad.
What do gays call hemorrhoids ? Speed bumps.
Q: What's the difference between a freezer and a fag? A: A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
Q: Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? A: They keep falling through the holes in his hands.
Silence is golden. Unless you have an infant. Then its probably blue.
When you're neckin' with yer honey And your nose is kinda runny You might think it's funny... But it's not.