Joke #7110

"Mommy, Mommy! Where have all your scabs gone?" "Shut up and eat your corn flakes."
Vote: has 42.61 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: How do you know you're in a vampire bar? A: There's a string hanging out of your Bloody Mary.
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, disgusting
One night as a bartender is closing up his bar, he hears a knock at the back door. When he opens the door, there stands a bum who asks, "Can I have a toothpick?" The bartender gives him a toothpick and continues cleaning up his bar. Five minutes later, he hears another knock at the door. Again, there stands another bum who asks, "Can I have a toothpick?" The bartender gives him a toothpick and continues cleaning up the bar. Five minutes later, he hears another knock at the back door. This time, there's a bum asking for a straw. The owner gives him a straw, but finally asks what's going on out there. The bum replies, "Some lady threw up in the back, but all the good stuff is gone."
Vote: has 9.65 % from 121 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, bartender, disgusting
Three men were trekking through the desert and came across a magician standing at the top of a slide. The magician said, "You may each go down the slide and ask for a drink. When you reach the bottom of the slide, you shall land in a huge glass of that drink. The first man went down yelling, "Beer!" He landed in a glass of beer. The second man went down yelling, "Lemonade!" He landed in a glass of lemonade. The third guy man down the slide yelling, "Wee!"
Vote: has 77.03 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, disgusting
A man joins the navy and is shipped out immediately to an aircraft carrier in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The captain is showing the new recruit around the ship, when the recruit asks the captain what the sailors do to satisfy their urges when they're at sea for so long. "Let me show you," says the captain. He takes the recruit down to the rear of the ship where there's a solitary barrel with a hole in it. "This'll be the best sex you'll ever have. Go ahead and try it, and I'll give you some privacy." The recruit doesn't quite believe it, but he decides to try it anyway. After he finishes up, the captain returns. "Wow! That was the best sex I've ever had! I want to do it every day!" "Fine. You can do it every day except for Thursday." "Why not Thursday?" "That's your day in the barrel."
Vote: has 79.10 % from 357 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: air force, dirty, disgusting, navy, sex
Q: What's the difference between apple pie and pussy? A: You can eat Granmas apple pie.
Vote: has 59.46 % from 71 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, food
Q: How do you know a gay guy has farted? A: He needs to change his pants afterward.
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, fart, gay, sex
This morning as I was buttoning my shirt, a button fell off. After that, I picked up my briefcase, and the handle fell off. Then I went to open the door, and the doorknob fell off. I went to get into my car, and the door handle came off in my hand. Now I'm afraid to pee.
Vote: has 73.48 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
An Aggie and a Longhorn had just bought a ranch together, so they were driving the fence line to check everything out when they came upon a goat with his head stuck in a fence. So the Longhorn gets out of the truck, looks around, and then starts screwing the goat. He gets finished, takes a step back, ands asks the Aggie, "Hey, you want a piece of this?" The Aggie says, ´"Yeah, but do I have to stick my head in the fence?"
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
Q: How can you tell the difference between a straight rodeo and a gay rodeo? A: At a straight rodeo they yell "Ride them suckers!"
Vote: has 30.14 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
Vote: has 22.30 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, desert island, disgusting, sex, women