"Mommy, Mommy! Where have all your scabs gone?"
"Shut up and eat your corn flakes."
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Q: Why did the gay guy think his lover was cheating on him?
A: He came home shit faced.
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A vacuum salesman goes door-to-door in a new neighborhood.
When a woman answers the door at the first house, the salesman walks right in and drops cow patties on her floor.
He says, "Ma'am, just to show you how confident I am in the quality of my vacuums, I'll eat whatever the vacuum doesn't pick up."
The woman smiles and asks, "Could I get you some ketchup with that?"
The salesman scoffs confidently and says, "I assure you my vacuums have more power than any other on the market today!"
The woman replies, "Well, that may be so, but we just moved in and the electricity isn't turned on yet."
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Five liters of bean soup for dinner – let´s spend the night with the gas mask!
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I don't like the term "anal bleaching".
I prefer "changing your ringtone."
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What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet?
After you use a toilet it doesn't follow you around for three days.
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Friend 1: "I like my women how I like my milk."
Friend 2: "What? White?"
Friend 1: "No, expired."
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Joke has 52.63 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, friendship, white people, wife
Q: What's the hardest thing about a sex change from a man to a woman?
A: Inserting the anchovies
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Q: What's the ultimate rejection?
A: When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
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Imagine, there are on the bus only 5 persons:
A busman, an old woman, two younger women and one man.
The old woman comes to the busman and tells him: "Dear busman, would you like to eat a few hazelnuts?"
The busman says: "Yes, why not?"
He takes the hazelnuts from her hand and eats them.
This repeats even two times, but when the old woman offers other hazelnuts to the busman for the fourth time, the busman asks this old woman:
"Madame, where do you take all these hazelnuts from? It is a real amount and I am already full."
The old woman only says: "You know, dear busman, I have bought the chocolate with hazelnuts, the hazelnuts are very hard for my dental plate, so I have sucked them all out, brought it to you and you have already eaten them all."
Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Para-olympics?
A: Having two legs.
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