A man goes into a psychiatric hospital to visit one of his buddies.
As he is walking out he notices a guy pretending to be swinging a hockey stick.
Curious, he asks: "What are you doing?"
The guy replies: "I'm Wayne Gretzky, and I'm practicing my shot."
Satisfied with the answer the visitor moves on down the hall.
He notices another guy pretending to be playing golf.
Curious, he asks: "What are you doing?"
The guy replies: "I'm Tiger woods and I'm practicing my golf."
Satisfied with this response the visitor again moves on down the hall.
He then sees another guy sitting in a chair in the nude with a jar of peanuts beside him.
This guy takes a peanut, places it on his dick, waits a minute, then flicks into his mouth.
Again, curious he asks: "What are you doing?"
The guy replies: "I'M FUCKING NUTS!"
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs, with a ten
inch penis?
A: "Partially disabled."
Vote:
Yo mama so damn short, she uses salt shaker as a toilet.
Vote:
Q: Why does a dog lick himself?
A: He can't make a fist.
Vote:
Bob: "Hey, Sue, why is there a tampon hanging out of your mouth?"
Sue: "Oh my God. What did I do with my cigarette?"
Vote:
Why did God give women legs?
So they don't leave a trail like a slug.
Vote:
Josi frequently attends his church Bingo club, where every week a gag doorprize is given out.
One week, Josi is presented with a toilet brush.
"What the hell is this?" he asks the pastor.
"Why, it's a toilet brush."
"Ooh, I see," says Josi.
A couple weeks later, the pastor jokingly asks Josi how the brush is working.
"Well, it's okay, but I think I'll go back to using paper."
Vote:
Boy while kissing his girlfriend: "Thank u baby... For give me your chewing gum.."
Girl says, "This is not chewing gum my love. I’m suffering from cough!"
Vote:
Q: What is 40 feet long and smells like urine?
A: Line dancing at a nursing home.
Vote:
Q: What is worse than waking up the morning after an orgy with pubic hair in your teeth?
A: Waking up with a lump in your throat and a string hanging out of your mouth.
Vote:
Q: What's the difference between a brown-noser and a sh*thead?
A: Depth perception.
Vote:
