Joke #3840

What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50? Your Honour.
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Lawyer: ‘Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?’ Client: ‘After hearing you in court, I’m beginning to think I didn’t.’
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
What do you get when you cross a godfather with a lawyer? An offer you can’t understand.
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
Did you hear that the Post Office had to recall its series of stamps depicting famous lawyers? People were confused about which side to spit
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer. "Can you tell me how much you charge?" asked the client. "Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!" "Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?" "Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?"
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer, money
What is the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? The vampire sucks you’re blood only at midnight!
Vote: has 16.16 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. The banks offered a reward for his capture, dead or alive, but offered a much larger award for the recovery of the stolen funds. An enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a long and difficult search, he traced the bandit to his home town. On a hunch, he checked the town's cantina, and sure enough, there was the robber. The only other people in the bar were the bartender and a scrawny, older man at a back table. The time was right to make a move. The ranger drew his revolver, charged into the cantina, and announced: "You are under arrest. I get a reward for you, dead or alive. Tell me where the money is, and I'll let you live. If you don't, I'll shoot you right here, and save myself the trouble of having to take you back to Texas alive." But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. As it turned out, the scrawny man at the back of the bar happenedd to be a lawyer. He knew the robber, and was bilingual, and quickly offered to translate for the two of them. The ranger said: "Tell him that if he doesn't tell me where the loot is, I'll shoot him here and now." Upon hearing what the Ranger had said, and seeing the cold look in his eye, the bandit knew that the Ranger meant it - if he did not give up his loot, he was a dead man. Terrified, the bandit blurted out in Spanish that the loot was buried in an old barn at the outskirts of town. "What did he say?" asked the Ranger. The lawyer answered: "He said, 'You don't have the nerve to shoot me, Yankee swine.'"
Vote: has 80.71 % from 376 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer, life, mexican, money, racist
One day, there was this lawyer who had just bought a new car, and he was eager to show it off to his colleagues, when all of a sudden an eighteen wheeler came out of nowhere and took of the driver's side door with him standing right there. "NOOO!" he screamed, because he knew that no matter how good a mechanic tried to fix it, it never would be the same. Finally, a cop came by, and the lawyer ran up to him yelling. "MY JAGUAR DOOR WAS JUST RUINED BY SOME FOOLISH DRIVER!" he exclaimed. "Your a lawyer aren't you?" asked the policeman. "Yes, I am, but what does this have to do with my car?" the lawyer asked. "HA! Your lawyers are always so materialistic. All you care about is your possessions. I bet you didn't even notice that your left arm is missing did you?" the cop said. The lawyer looked down at his side and exclaimed "MY ROLEX!"
Vote: has 85.60 % from 162 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, cop, lawyer, money
A young lawyer was working on a farmer’s case, which asked compensation from the train company because one of they’re trains killed 24 pigs of his. At the High Court, wanting to make impression of the damage amount, the lawyer says: There were 24 pigs gentlemen! Twice as much than you!
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, lawyer
A mother and son were walking through a cemetery, and passed by a headstone inscribed ‘Here lies a good lawyer and an honest man.' The little boy read the headstone, looked up at his mother, and asked "Mommy, why did they bury two men there?"
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, lawyer
Why don’t lawyers enjoy fishing? Because it’s too much like work, what with all the lying involved.
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer