A Harvard and Yale Law grad met in a washroom during a law convention.
The Harvard graduate said, "Didn't they teach you to wash your hands at Yale?"
The Yale grad responded, "They taught us not to piss on our hands."
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Why was the man sued by his horse?
For palomino-money!
Q: How many divorce attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It only takes one divorce attorney to change your light bulb to his light bulb.
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Q: Why have scientists started using lawyers for experiments instead of rats?
A: They don't become so attached to the lawyers.
A young lawyer says to ones of his colleagues:
-A lawyer is the freest creature in the world.
He’s not dependent of nothing except of his clients, his colleagues, judge and of the High Court...!
Two lawyers were walking along negotiating a case.
"Look," said one, "let's be honest with each other."
"Okay, you first," replied the other.
That was the end of the discussion.
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A Preacher and a lawyer both go to heaven at the same time and the Preacher receives his gifts that he had expected and he sees that the lawyer gets this big house and pool.
The Peacher asked God: "Why is it that I get the things I've wanted, but the lawyer gets all that?"
God Replied: "He is the first lawyer to make it into Heaven."
Q: How many lawyers does it take to plaster a wall?
A: It depends how hard you throw them.
What can a goose do, a duck can’t, and a lawyer should?
Stick his bill up his rear.
Did you hear about the lawyer who was hurt in an accident?
The ambulance he was chasing stopped too suddenly.