Joke #1836

A Harvard and Yale Law grad met in a washroom during a law convention. The Harvard graduate said, "Didn't they teach you to wash your hands at Yale?" The Yale grad responded, "They taught us not to piss on our hands."
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has 66.62 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: lawyer

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A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
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has 72.27 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: divorce, lawyer, love, Valentines day
How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Cut the rope.
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
The boss speaking with the secretary: Who told you that, if I kissed you a couple of time, you have the right to laze all day long? My lawyer.
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A lawyer trying to get tickets to a Broadway show, finally settled for a couple of seats a year in advance. When the exciting night arrived and he sat down in his seat, a woman in front of the lawyer noticed the empty seat next to him and asked why such a valuable commodity was unused. The lawyer replied that his wife couldn't make it. The woman asked him if he didn't have relatives or friends who could have used the seat. He replied, "Oh, they're all at the funeral."
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has 58.77 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: funeral, lawyer, women
Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do? A: Shoot the lawyer twice.
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has 67.11 % from 207 votes. More jokes about: death, desert island, Hitler, lawyer
How do you prevent a Lawyer from drowning? Shoot him before he hits the water!
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has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Not all the warrants, can be called milky cows, says a lawyer to a colleague of his, some of them are like the mice in the church. Got for as lawyers that we know how to milk the mice...
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has 22.04 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
What’s the difference between a female lawyer and a pit bull? Lipstick.
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready. “All set back here, Captain,” came the reply, “except the lawyers are still going around passing out business cards.”
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has 52.41 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: airplane, business, lawyer
A Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many barristers of the city donated to a fund for his funeral. The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling. "A shilling?" said the Justice, "It only takes shilling to bury an attorney? Here's a guinea; go bury 20 of `em!"
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has 69.88 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: death, funeral, lawyer, money