Joke #2408

What is the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? The vampire sucks you’re blood only at midnight!
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has 12.72 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer

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From tomorrow you are free! The lawyer informs his client. Yes, I’m so happy, I have nothing to say, grumbled the prisoner. I torment myself for 5 years to make a rope ladder, 3 years to rasp the cage bars and you come now with the amnesty ordinance, exactly now when I wanted to break free...
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer." The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative: He would inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer. That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark: "That's Strange"!
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Q: What’s the difference between Personal Injury lawyers and Congress? A: No fee–If No Recovery!
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Diogenes went to look for an honest lawyer. "How's it going?", someone asked. "Oh, not too bad", said Diogenes. "I still have my lantern."
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: communication, lawyer
Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
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has 42.26 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, lawyer
Why won't sharks attack lawyers? "Professional courtesy."
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities.
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has 71.53 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: kids, lawyer, sex
A Georgian man sits in the dock at the court, with his neck bended down. The judge: "Why did you rape the girl?" "I liked her." "Why did you raped the boy?" "I liked him." "Sir, why don't you look to my eyes when you talk to me?" "I'm afraid I'll like you…"
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has 74.69 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: black humor, lawyer
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said "I'm here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything." "That's quite a coincidence", said the engineer, "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything." The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "How do you start a flood?", he asked.
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has 74.28 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: black humor, fish, lawyer, money, work
"Your Honor, it was an accident! I had to run into the fence to keep from hitting the cow!" "Was it a Jersey cow?" "I don't know, I didn't see her license plate!"
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has 77.50 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer