Twenty-eight years ago, Herman James, a Tennessee mountain man, was drafted by the Army.
On his first day in boot camp, the Army issued him a comb.
That afternoon, an Army barber sheared his head. On his second day, the Army issued him a tooth brush.
That afternoon, an Army dentist yanked several of his teeth.
On his third day, he was issued a jock strap...
The Army is still looking for him.
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What is the difference between a Russian optimist, pessimist and realist?
The optimist studies English.
The pessimist studies Chinese.
The realist stays home and cleans his kalashnikov.
A knight walked into a blacksmith's shop.
The blacksmith said: "You've got mail."
Q: Did you hear that Saddam Hussein won the toss ?
A: He elected to receive.
On a military training exercise, the British divisional command radio operators were getting very bored one quiet night, when breaking the silence a voice asked over the air, "Are there any friendly bears listening?"
After a moment, another voice replied, "Yes, I'm a friendly bear," and then another voice, "I'm a friendly bear too!"
At this point, the Officer at Headquarters grabbed his microphone and let loose a blistering tirade at the operators for fooling around on an radio link. When he had finished, there
was silence for about ten seconds.
Then a small voice said, "You're not a very friendly bear, are you?"
Why do all Iraqi soldiers carry a piece of sandpaper?
They need a map.
Q: In the Navy, how do they separate the men from the boys?
A: With a crowbar.
Before Chuck Norris can register as a soldier, all wars suddenly end.
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A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I guess when I die you'll come and dance on my grave."
The cadet replied, "Not me, Sarge...no sir!
I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I'd never stand in another line!"
Q: What do you call an afghan virgin
A: Never bin laid on.
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