Joke #1922

Twenty-eight years ago, Herman James, a Tennessee mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in boot camp, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon, an Army barber sheared his head. On his second day, the Army issued him a tooth brush. That afternoon, an Army dentist yanked several of his teeth. On his third day, he was issued a jock strap... The Army is still looking for him.
Vote:
has 61.96 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: military

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down. The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy. So he yells to the soldiers in back to throw things out to make the plane lighter. They throw out a pistol. “Throw out more!” shouts the pilot. So they throw out a rifle. “More!” he cries again. They heave out a missile, and the pilot regains control. He pulls out of the dive and lands safely at an airport. They get into a jeep and drive off. Pretty soon they meet a boy on the side of the road who’s crying. They ask him why he’s crying and he says “A pistol hit me on the head!” They drive more and meet another boy who’s crying even harder. Again they ask why and the boy says, “A rifle hit me on the head!” They apologize and keep driving. They meet a boy on the sidewalk who’s laughing hysterically. They ask him, “Kid, what’s so funny?” The boy replies, “I sneezed and a house blew up!”
Vote:
has 81.17 % from 426 votes. More jokes about: kids, military
General Peter Pollock, the Navy Chief was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. General Pollock arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and Pollock asks: "So how are your men Marshall?" "Very well trained, Peter." "I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they're the bravest men all over the country." "Well, my men are very brave, too." "I'd like to see that." So Marshall calls an under-trainee and says: "James! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!" "Are you crazy? It'd kill me, you idiot! I'm out of here!" As James ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered Pollock and said: "You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."
Vote:
has 52.63 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: atheist, men, military, navy
Which branch of the military do babies join? The infantry!
Vote:
has 52.77 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: baby, military
Osama Bin Laden is hiding from Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 41.18 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, military, war
‘What were you in civilian life, soldier?’ ‘Happy, sir.’
Vote:
has 79.48 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: military
A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I guess when I die you'll come and dance on my grave." The cadet replied, "Not me, Sarge...no sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I'd never stand in another line!"
Vote:
has 36.23 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: death, military
Before Chuck Norris can register as a soldier, all wars suddenly end.
Vote:
has 47.97 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, military, war
The soldier serving in Hong Kong was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back. He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them back with a note saying, "I regret to inform you that I cannot remember which one is you -- please keep your photo and return the others."
Vote:
has 19.95 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: military
Q: How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb ? A: Only one, but he does it from 30 miles away using laser targeting, and at a cost of US $8,000, 000.
Vote:
has 63.07 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: military
What is the best job in a country which is war-prone? "Foreign ambassador."
Vote:
has 32.79 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: military, war, work