Teacher: Give me an example of animal.
Jimmy: Frog
Teacher: Give me another.
Jimmy: Another Frog.
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Three women escape from prison….one is a redhead, one a brunette, and one a blonde.
They run for miles until they come upon an old barn; they decide to hide in the hayloft and rest.
When they climb up, they find three gunnysacks and decide to put them over their heads for camouflage.
About an hour later the sheriff and his deputy come into the barn. T
he sheriff tell his deputy to go up and check out the hayloft.
When he got up there the sheriff asked him what he saw.
The deputy told him just three gunnysacks.
The sheriff told him to find out what was in them…..so the deputy kicked the first bag, which had the redhead in it……and she went “Bow-wow.”
So the deputy told the sheriff there was a dog in the first one.
Then he kicked the one with the brunette in it and she went “Meow.”
The deputy told the sheriff there was a cat in the second one.
Then he kicked the one with the blonde in it and there was no sound at all, so he kicked it again and the blonde said
“Potatoes.”
What do you call a dumb bunny?
A hare brain.
How does a group of dolphin's make a decision?
Flipper coin.
Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
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In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sportscars.
An owl enters a psychologist's office.
The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?"
The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day. I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night."
The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his problem, as he is very busy.
The next night, a cat comes in.
He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?"
The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day, as he is very busy.
The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his appointment and ends up at the same time as the owl.
The cat is told to wait outside.
He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his problem... and his address!
During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his appointment, the cat comes in.
The psychologist asks the cat why he is here instead of the owl.
The cat replies, "He is here!" and poops on the floor, explaining,
"I was sent to deliver him."
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
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What is the definition of "derange"?
De place where de cowboys ride.
One day a blonde went to a sea food restaurant and saw the tank where they kept the lobsters.
She took pity on these creatures and hid them in her purse.
Later she went to the woods to set the poor animals free.