Teacher: Give me an example of animal.
Jimmy: Frog
Teacher: Give me another.
Jimmy: Another Frog.
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A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home.
In the den was a stuffed lion.
The visiting hunter asked, “When did you bag him?”
The host said proudly, “That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my ex-wife.”
“What’s he stuffed with,” asked the visiting hunter.
“My ex-wife” replied the hunter.
Vote:
What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long?
A runny bunny.
Gemma:My dog doesn't have a nose.
Ortoise: How does he smell?
Gemma: Awful!
What did Mariah Carey really wanted to sing: "All I want for Christmas is you... to get hit by a reindeer."
Who held the baby octopus to ransom?
Squidnappers.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They go to the mooooovies.
Q: What do women and cats have in common?
A: Pussy farts.
Vote:
A man walked into his backyard one morning and found there was a gorilla in a tree.
He called a gorilla-removal service, and soon a serviceman arrived with a stick, a Chihuahua, a pair of handcuffs and a shotgun.
"Now listen carefully," he told the homeowner, "I'm going to climb the tree and poke the gorilla with this stick until he falls to the ground.
The trained Chihuahua will then go right for his, uh, sensitive area, and when the gorilla instinctivly crosses his hands in front to protect himself, you slap the handcuffs on"
"Ok, got it." the homeowner replied.
"But whats that shotgun for?"
"If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla," the man said, "shoot the Chihuahua."
What do you call an ugly rabbit that sits on someone's forehead?
Unsightly facial hare.