Cow: "Why don't you shoo those flies?"
Bull: "I ll let them go barefoot!"
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If toast always lands butter-side down and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat and drop it?
Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row.
The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
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In India, cows wait until Chuck Norris crosses the street.
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Law of Pill Rejection
Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
The mouse and the elephant pas together over a bridge, very proud the mouse says:
Do you hear how the bridge vibrates under OUR footsteps?
A man has his car full of penguins.
He drives past a policeman, but the policeman stops him.
He says.
"Hey, you! Yeah, you! You should take those penguins to the zoo!"
The man does that.
The next day in the same spot, the man still has the penguins.
Once again he drives past the policeman.
"Hey, I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo!"
"I did," replies the man.
"We had so much fun that were going to the beach today!"
A mother was teaching his child about the side-effects of alcohol.
She gets two short glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey.
She says "I want you to see this."
She puts a worm in the water, and it swims around.
She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately.
She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, "what do you have to say about this experiment?"
The child responds by saying: "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"
What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper?
A Brontosnorus.
What do you call a smart blonde?
A Golden Retriever.
Chuck norris can eat chicken tonight tomorow.
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