Joke #10062

Cow: "Why don't you shoo those flies?" Bull: "I ll let them go barefoot!"

Teacher: Kids,what does the chicken give you? Kids: Meat! Teacher: Very good! Now what does the pig give you? Kids: Bacon! Teacher: Great! And what does the fat cow give you? Kid: Homework!

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

Who robs banks and squirts ink? Billy the Squid.

Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.

A man was relaxing with his evening paper, when there was a knock on the door. He opened it, and saw nobody, so he closed the door and went back to his paper. There was another knock, so he opened the door again. This time, he looked down and saw a small snail. "Mister, could you spare some change?" the snail said. The man picked up the snail, threw him into the bushes, and went back to reading. A year later, there was another knock at the door. It was the snail. "What'd you do that for?"

How do you f*ck a fat chick? Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.

A cowboy rode up to the saloon, dismounted from his horse, and dusted himself off. He then walked around to the rear of his horse, lifted the tail and kissed it right on the rectum. As the cowboy walked into the saloon, the shocked barkeeper asked, "Did you just kiss your horse's butt?" The cowboy said, "Sure, I've got chapped lips." The stunned barkeep asked if this was an old Indian cure. The cowboy said, "Nope. But, sure as s**t, it keeps me from licking my lips!"

What do you get from a short-legged cow? Dragon milk.

How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented? They were very impressed.

How do you hire a teddy bear? Put him on stilts.