Joke #213

How many Wall Street protesters does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change a thing.
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Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? A: You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Depends on how clumsy you are.
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How did the black guy escape from jail? He unscrewed the light bulbs.
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Q:How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A:None, the sockets go with the house.
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If you give three liberals a light bulb what would happen? The first one would say its causing global warming. The second one would say its racist. The third one would say its not a light bulb unless Obama says let there be light.
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A large group of Russian soldiers in the border area in 1939 are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a small hill: "One Finnish soldier is better than ten Russian". The Russian commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over the hill where Upon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence. The voice once again calls out: "One Finn is better than one hundred Russian." Furious, the Russian commander sends his next best 100 troops over the hill and instantly a huge gun fight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again Silence. The calm Finnish voice calls out again: "One Finn is better than one thousand Russians from: The enraged Russian commander musters 1000 fighters and sends them to the other side of the hill. Rifle fire, machine guns, grenades, rockets and cannon fire ring out as a terrible battle is fought... Then silence. Eventually one badly wounded Russian fighter crawls back over the hill and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men...it's a trap. There's two of them."
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Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap. He was high on my list of priorities.
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Q: How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape the job so fundamentalists won't claim that god did it.
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FOUR stages of girl & boy relation! 1. hand in hand. 2. that in hand. 3. hand in that. 4. that in that.
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Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, that's a hardware problem.
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