How many Wall Street protesters does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they can't change a thing.
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Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
A: You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Depends on how clumsy you are.
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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They just beat the room for being black.
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Q: How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape the job so fundamentalists won't claim that god did it.
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So the buddhist pulls a gun out of his coat and the vendor says, "Whoa whoa whoa, what about inner peace?".
The Buddhist responds "This is my inner piece".
Q: How many nurses does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They just have a nursing student do it.
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When a married man says "I'll think about it", what he really means is that he doesn't know his wife's opinion yet.
Programming is like sex.
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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Q: How many Anglicans or Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They always use candles.
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