Joke #213

How many Wall Street protesters does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change a thing.
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Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? A: You can unscrew a light bulb.
Vote: has 81.25 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Depends on how clumsy you are.
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Two eggs were kissing on a bed when the female egg said, "I have to go change. I'll be back in a minute." Five minutes later, the the female egg walked out in a slinky "egg"lige, rubbing her hands up and down her smooth, oval-shaped body. Instantly, the male egg slapped his hands on the top of his head, covering it completely. "What are you doing?," the female egg asked. He replied, "The last time I was this hard, someone cracked me on the head with a spoon."
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

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A single woman who retired just a few months back walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch in her neighborhood. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?" "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." "That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?' "Twenty-six," he said.
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What do a gynecologist, and a pizza delivery guy have in common? They both can smell it, but they can't eat it!
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How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One...men will screw anything.
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A man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. He tells to the shepherd: "I will bet you 100 € against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock." The shepherd thinks it over; it’s a big flock so he takes the bet. "973," says the man. The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right. Says "OK, I’m a man of my word, take an animal." Man picks one up and begins to walk away. "Wait," cries the shepherd, "Let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation." Man says sure. "You are an economist for a government think tank" says the shepherd. "You are exactly right!" responds the man, "but tell me, how did you deduce that?" "Well," says the shepherd, "put down the dog and I will tell you."
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How many prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? Yes.
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When a married man says "I'll think about it", what he really means is that he doesn't know his wife's opinion yet.
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

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Yo moma so fat that when I tried to have sex with her I burned my ass off the lightbulb.
Vote: has 55.34 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

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