How many Wall Street protesters does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change a thing.
Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? A: You can unscrew a light bulb.
Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Depends on how clumsy you are.
How many blonde does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 3. One to hold the lightbulb and two to turn the ladder.
Why did the Viking buy an old boat? Because he couldn't afjord a new one!
A Jehovah's Witnesses knocked on my door yesterday, so I answered it and asked if he wanted to come in he said, "Yeah, okay." I said I'm just making a cup of tea do you want one? He said, "Yeah, sure." I said I've just made some toast do you want a slice? He said, "Yeah, why not." I then he sat down and I asked him, "So what now?" He said, "I don't know I've never got this far before!"
You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time they make a group photo.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? ONE......He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
Q: How Many White People Does it Take To Screw In a Lightbulb? A: None, they get a nigger to do it.
10 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash. Now we have no jobs, no hope and no cash.
If one drop of semen contains more life than a drop of blood, why don't vampires suck cock? Oh wait... Twilight