Joke #2158

Why won't sharks attack lawyers? "Professional courtesy."
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line." "Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"
Vote: has 45.58 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
Q: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers? A: Yes sir, with my life.
Vote: has 35.23 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
There was a man driving a pickup truck down a country road, when suddenly he was broad sided by a trailer truck. Some time went by, and the case got to court. The defense attorney said to the plaintiff, "How can you be suing my client now when you told a trooper after the accident that you felt fine?" The man replied. "Well sir, it was like this. We was driving down the road, minding our own business, when a big trailer truck came out of nowhere and creamed us. When I came to, I was in the ditch, and a trooper was pulling up with his car. He looked at the hogs, and they was most dead, so he shot them. Then he looked at my dog, and he was hurt real bad, so he shot him." Then he came over to me and he said, "How you feeling?" I said, "I never felt better in my life."
Vote: has 72.27 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dog, lawyer, life
A reporter outside of a courtroom asked a defendant clad only in a barrel: “Oh, I see your attorney lost the case!” The defendant answered, “No, we won.”
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
If it wasn’t for lawyers, we wouldn’t need them.
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. "My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
Vote: has 74.28 % from 164 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: business, dad, lawyer, school
Q: WITH YOUR LIFE? Let me ask you this then officer--do you have a locker room in the police station--a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties? A: Yes sir, we do.
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
A young attorney who had taken over his father’s practice rushed home elated one night. “Dad, listen,” he shouted, “I’ve finally settled that old McKinney suit.” “Settled it!” cried his astonished father. “Why, you idiot! We have been living off of that money for five years!”
Vote: has 73.48 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, lawyer, money
How come sharks don’t attack lawyers? From professional courtesy.
Vote: has 18.69 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, lawyer
I once meet a honest, caring, politician that listened when I spoke and tried to help the country. Then I woke up.
Vote: has 78.06 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer, political